Not Quite the Opposites (camren)

12 - Chaotic

If there was a word to describe my relationship with my boyfriend, it would be chaos. We would go from running around the place, chasing each other; being kids, to multiple fights from the littlest, silliest if not stupidest of sources. Gavin had been constantly yammering about how he misses me and how he couldn't wait for me to graduate so that I could go back to California with him. He was deathly clingy over the weeks that had passed and as much as I wanted to feel flattered by it, it was just not working out for me it seems. If it was doing anything, it was choking the life out of me.

I have not told him about my family's plan to move sooner than he could ever dream, and I did that as I was getting dressed for homecoming.

"I want to finish senior year in one school, Gavin." I explained the moment I finished divulging into details of my family's yet another abrupt change of address.

I was pacing all over my room and I was becoming increasingly nervous about the outcome of our conversation. As much as I wanted to call him with the nickname of endearment, I was too worked up to think about his feelings, too.

"You could have been right next to me, babe." He quickly retorted in defeat. His voice exuded a faint hopefulness that was quickly faltering.

"I know that." I tried not to sound irritated and it took a lot of me to do so considering I was beyond that stage. It was as if I had already leaped off the ledge and there was no way to climb back up. "But for once in my life, I want high school to be as normal as possible and that includes staying in one for at least a year."

He let out an audible sigh and the voice I heard next was too pitiful. "Is your heart not in this anymore?"

For some reason, I had expected him to ask that question. But I was confused still. We still managed to talk every single day since I landed in Miami and at times we would just talk for the sake of talking. The volume of our words were not as overflowing with details or pure admiration. At times, they were merely just words and casual exchanges of sentences. It had gotten worse that I don't even remember what we talked about the previous day. It was as if it was just a routine we couldn't break. Otherwise, we'd feel lost and falter.

I ran my hand through my hair as I huffed in frustration. I closed my eyes shut as my left hand remained tussled in my hair.

"How did we get here?" I breathed as I crashed onto my bed with only my undergarments and a blue robe on.

"Babe, I'm sorry but I know you or at least, that's what I think." He reasoned with such urgency in his tone. "If you had the chance, you would have came. Is there someone else?"

In actuality, if he knew me, he would know that I wanted to spend an immeasurable amount of time on adventures. I wanted to bask in the sun while walking barefoot on the sand. I wanted to jump off a plane and glide down to the earth as the wind ripples through my clothes. I wanted to travel a lot and that's one of the reasons why constantly moving with my family was somehow bearable. He, on the other hand, wants to just stay in San Diego and rot there.

"No! Of course, not." I hit the bed with my free hand and clasped my blanket in my fist. It was the only thing holding me back from full on arguing with Gavin. "Why are you always doubting me?"

I massaged my temples as my calmness slowly vacated my system. I closed my eyes and savored the pressure I was creating on my head. I took deeper breaths to hush my labored cardiovascular muscle.

"You're Lauren Jauregui." He began.

My emerald eyes swiftly revealed themselves in shock. I shot up and sat on the bed as I anticipated his next words. I was silently praying that he would possess the words that Camila had muttered only hours before. I was going to be satisfied with even just a fraction of the brown-eyed girl's words as long as it came from him. I was hoping he would make me regret what I had done without knowing it. I was hoping he would step up and claim me.