Not Quite the Opposites (camren)

13 - You're Mine, Too: My Confidant

People have different ways to cope with adversities; Camila's is to smile at them and hope they go away. And to her, if life gives you lemons; you don't just make something as simple as lemonade. The quaint mixture of sugar, water and lemon juice does provide comfort on a hot day but according to Camila, she'd make something more exquisite like a desert.

How I cope with things? I bottle it up until I am too consumed by my thoughts that I become numb to what others are feeling. And that is how I hurt Camila Cabello.

It was starting to rain quite heavily when Camila and I were walking towards her car. The droplets of water gently splattered my bare shoulders which prompted her to look at me. There was so much affection in those brows eyes than I have ever seen before. She then shuffled her way out of her blazer and handed her blazer to me.

"I know it's quite cliché but I know you're cold." She monotonously stated and I knew she wasn't going to let me decline. Her lips formed a straight line; no, she didn't smile still. It was killing me.

"Thanks." I said loud enough for her to hear.

I swung the jacket to the back and slid my arms in the sleeves. I instantly felt warm and the familiar scent of her lavender and green tea perfume, laced with Camila's scent. I closed my eyes as I took a deep breath, smelling the fragrance within the jacket.

The car ride was spent in silence. Other than the burbling noise of the car engine and the gentle pitter patter of the rain, everything was quiet. I was hoping she would say something else after she offered me the jacket but she didn't. There wasn't even a song playing in the background.

It was deafening.

I was too afraid to speak but I did. I shifted so that my entire body was facing her, slightly lifting my left leg up to the seat.

"Camz, please don't punish me." I desperately pleaded. Her silent treatment was absolute torture. I was remorseful and guilty at the same time. It was a toxic mix to my gut.

There was silence yet again until I heard her sigh.

"Was it about the kiss?" Camila asked with such hostility in her tone. She gripped onto the wheel tightly, her knuckles were emerging, pushing the thin skin outward.

The impact of her question hit me with such force, I was thrown off. My fear of inflicting more damage was prevalent. "Wh...what?" I stammered breathlessly.

"You, avoiding me. Was. It. About. The. Kiss?" The brown-eyed brunette emphasized every word in her question and my heart pounded harder and harder the more she progressed with each one. Despite only seeing one side of her pretty face, the silhouette the dim lights created emphasized her hostile expression.

"No. It wasn't." I shakily retorted. My lungs felt like they were compressed into paper and the only way to breathe was to sigh. I ran a hand through my hair. "Gavin."

She nodded and I could see her clench her jaw from the slight movement.

"I'm sorry we kissed." It was the first time she sounded remorseful; washing her aggression slightly.

"Camz, I kissed you." I explained, emphasizing on who initiated the kiss. I held onto her arm. To my surprise, she didn't flinch. I let out a breath in relief. "Why are you apologizing?"

Camila shook her head as she rapidly blinked her eyes. "I just...it's just...I kind of helped you cheat on him." She swallowed hard, as evidenced by the movement on her throat. "I'm big on loyalty and trust and yet there I was, helping someone cheat on another someone. Fucking pathetic."

She put her left palm on her forehead as she shook her head again. Her elbow rested by the window while her other hand continued to maneuver the wheel. She took a deep breath and breathed out through her mouth. The concerned look she gave me after the kiss had made sense. Even if it wasn't her fault, she was blaming herself and I couldn't let her take the fall for me.