Not Quite the Opposites (camren)

21 - Sometimes, We Hurt the People We Love

Camila didn't fight for me. Camila didn't fight for Jette. However, the flamboyant "Empress Fakeness" had more of a reason to resent my friend. They were dating, and I was dating somebody else. The brown-eyed girl and I were merely friends. Camila was respecting our boundaries but turned her back on her commitment with her now ex-girlfriend.

I was sobbing even before I walked underneath the overhang. It was a seemingly long walk of agony towards their front door. Despite the tiled surface, it felt as though I braved through the most unforgiving terrain in the world with the harshest weather, giving up on my composure.

My mind raced with the most conflicting thoughts while my heart braved through a hopeless misery and a particularly hard dilemma. The question on whether to stay or just keep going pestered my whole being and it only intensified the physical pain I felt in my tightened chest.

In the back of my head I was hoping that Camila would run after me. But I was sure I wasn't worth it. She shouldn't. It should have been me, begging for her forgiveness.

Sure enough, Normani and Ally were right outside, rushing to my aid as soon as they caught sight of me. They both engulfed me in a hug while I settled my chin by Normani's shoulder. The warmth that they provided me with had only made a waterfall out of my eyes. They should have been enough to quell my misery to a certain extent but I found myself yearning for the kind of feeling Camila gave me.

"What's wrong, Laur?" Ally cautiously asked after a couple of long minutes of rubbing my back soothingly that only caused the opposite and set off an uproar of sobs.  

"I broke up w-with...with my boyfriend." I shakily retorted, unable to control my ragged breathing and my speech.

I decided to lie to them. What was I going to say? I have secretly liked Camila for a really long time until I fell for her and then I found out she's gay but Jette's her ex and I'm blaming her for the mistakes I made the night before involving her ex-girlfriend and a boy who is her friend.

Uh, no, thanks!

Of course, it felt terrible to have to break up with my now-ex but the pain I felt after Camila's revelation outweighed everything else. I was derailed like I have never been before. If I thought I had a steady push toward a specific direction once, that was all gone now.

I should have been more compassionate and significantly less selfish.

My answer caused both my friends to crowd me again; tighter this time while whispering words of encouragement and love. I was slightly reassured by the thought that I would not be alone in the halls of our high school after my unintentional yet great rift with my friendship with Camila.

"How did you two get here so quick?" I mumbled; my tight grip on my friends unwavering.

I continued to bow my head down as I squeezed my eyes shut. The reality of the problem haunted me and fooled myself into thinking that my reprieve was just behind my eyelids.

"Mila called over half an hour ago and told us to hurry." Normani explained with the gentlest of tones. "Dinah dropped us off. She'll be back here later."

Of course, you stupid saint! I rebuked Camila internally. The younger girl had already mentioned calling them but being reminded of her selfless tendencies, and me being the usual recipient toyed with my guilt. However, I had to be thankful. Otherwise, I wouldn't have the slightest idea how I would go home or where to go home to.

Was there even home in Miami for me?

Normani and Ally led to me to a metallic gray Chevrolet Colorado that looked exactly like Camila's when my sobs finally quieted down. I mindlessly followed them until I saw a guy behind the wheel. My suspicions of whom the car belonged to had been silenced given the particular guy's presence. Maybe it wasn't Camila's after all but it smelled like Camila's and looked like Camila's.