Not Quite the Opposites (camren)

14 - Lone Journey

It was a cold November day and the relatively hot Miami breeze brought a heaviness to my chest. The bright skies never dissolved the dark clouds that blocked the sun from shining on me.  It was time to leave the nest. While I spent as much waking hours, even sleeping hours with my family, I wasn't really prepared to be away from them.

But I had to because it was my choice.

I did many things leading to that day; things that would make me feel better knowing that I chose to exhaust my free time on the four people that matter to me so much. I gave all of them tighter hugs and more kisses. I had cooked with my father. I went grocery shopping with my mother. I played video games with my brother. I had slept in my sister's room quite often. I did those and more but nothing seemed to be enough for me.

It felt like a repetitive stab to the chest every time I notice something missing while a cardboard box stood close by. Things were wrapped one by one and as days went, the house became emptier and less of a home. It was always like that but I was not going with them this time.

It was a Saturday and most kids my age would have been out; enjoying their time with friends.  I was with a friend, my best friend, actually. It meant the world to me that she was present during my time of need.

For some reason, I didn't cry when my family boarded the large van we owned. I was severely heartbroken to see them go but I was too hurt to cry. I was too consumed on trying to be brave to cry. I held each of them tightly before reluctantly letting go. We did a much needed group hug after.

Camila was waiting patiently behind me; watching us intently. All my family members hugged her at least once. They have grown as fond of her as I have. She's just the lovable kind; respectful, too, and my parents love people like her. The luggage and boxes of my personal things were loaded in her pick-up truck, ready for transport as well.

"I'll have your plane tickets ready for Thanksgiving and Christmas, nugget." My mother exclaimed as she peered her head out the passenger window. She wiped a tear that fell on her cheek while she maintained an assuring smile. "We love you, Lauren."

"Thanks, mom! I love all of you!" I retorted, flashing a pained closed-mouth smile.

My father sat in the driver's with his face flushed red as he had been bawling his eyes out while we said our goodbyes. Chris sat behind my mother's seat. He was still putting a brave face on while our sister was still sobbing in the back seat. It was probably one of the most painful sights of my life.

Soon, they were off. I watched them drive up to the street and take a right turn; taking a part of my heart with them. I took a deep breath, calming my weary heart. I couldn't even look at the apartment anymore. It just reminded me of my family. I was slowly being consumed by my thoughts and my aggrieved emotions.

I looked out into the horizon and hoped the familiar van would suddenly appear despite knowing it wouldn't. Just when I thought the world had forsaken me, I was proven wrong.

"It's going to be ok, Lo." I heard the familiar raspy voice of the girl who has become the best kind of friend I've ever had; the closest one to my heart.

She stood in front of me; blocking out the empty road that my eyes lingered on and replaced it with a reassuring smile that somehow made the world I was currently living in livable.

"I know, Camz." I lied. I bowed my head down in defeat, standing face to face with familiar concrete walkway. I could not even muster a smile.

Of course, Camila knew better; she almost always does. She didn't find any conviction in my words.  "You know I'm only a call away if you need anything, right? Talk to me when you're ready."