Not Quite the Opposites (camren)

24 - You Knew

"Amorous dalliance" kept reverberating in my head in Camila's voice. I was continually reminded of our first conversation pertaining to William Shakespeare's narrative poem that my ex-boyfriend made me read. If it weren't for that work of art, I wouldn't have been in Camila's bed, naked.

I've woken up next to Camila more than I could count but each time there'd be something special about them. And everytime I did, I was happy. That morning was no different but very different at the same time. I woke up knowing that I gave myself to her and we made love for the first time.

However, I should have expected what I saw when I woke up. I rubbed my eyes with one hand and blindly searched the other side of the bed, tapping on the surface. I felt Camila's blanket-covered legs right next to me which meant she was sitting with her back against the headboard.

"What time is it?" I groggily asked, my tired voice came out extremely hoarse.

I looked up and noticed Camila was blankly staring at the sliding glass door in front of us, blanket securely wrapped over her chest. She was in deep thought and by the look in her eyes, she was not exactly as blissful as I was. Needless to say, I grew nervous and was experiencing internal turmoil.

I never expected things to just magically repair itself after we had sex. It still hurt just as much though. There's just something about Camila that drives my emotions to the extremes; it'd always be nirvana or absolute misery.

Did she regret it? I hope not.

"A little over six." Camila spoke dryly which intensified my suspicions. "Go back to sleep."

Camila might have not noticed the downpour that caused trees to sway along with the turbulent breeze, whistling as it swooshed against the contemporary house. The rain created clatters as it hit various surfaces. It looked significantly darker and melancholic. I usually found weathers like that relaxing; usually.

If Camila and I were just in better terms, I would have relished the rain and held her tight.

I sat up, holding the blanket over my chest before securing it with my arms. I kept a decent amount of space between us as I nervously picked on my cuticles. I kept my gaze down, unsure if I could look at her. The silence was consuming me and I could feel my food-deprived stomach churn.

"Did I do anything?" I cautiously asked, fixating my gaze out the glass door as well. It was too painful to look at her. "What did I do to make you hate me this much?"

"It's what you didn't do." She dejectedly retorted. Camila wasn't angry anymore; she was just hurt. "You never fought for me as much as you fought against me."

"I did. But maybe it was too late. I was just...scared." I weakly reasoned, knowing that I had let the problem pester before I did something. "There are things you don't know though."

"That's the thing;" The younger girl paused, clenching her jaw slightly. She was barely opening her mouth when she spoke. "I needed to know."

Another dagger sank in my heart given that I agreed with her. Maybe it was wrong to hide my feelings for her for so long. But then again, I didn't want to ruin our friendship. The funny thing is, I did anyway. Whether I said something or not, I broke us.

"I'm sorry." I cautiously reached for her hand, coaxing her to look at me. Thankfully, she did not swat my hand away. Instead, she parted her fingers to let mine slide through the gaps. "Please forgive me."

Camila turned to face me. She looked so defeated yet so gentle at the same time. I do not exactly remember when she looked at me that way. I had always received hostility in the past couple of weeks. Well, except the time she came to my rescue bearing pregnancy tests.