Chapter 22

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DAVON POV

FLASHBACK

"Okay bro. I'll be back. Got to go check on tjones. She wasn't feeling good earlier."

"I'm coming too." "Nahh Rico it's good brother. I'll be right back." I threw him the football and started walking across the street to my house.

We had been chillin infront of his house since we got out of school. It's what we always did. Rico mama fixed us snacks and shit while we played ball. She always told us we was gone be in the nfl.

I opened the front door and called out to my mama. I knew she was feeling a little sick earlier. She told me she was fine but I still wanted to check on her.

It was my job. I was only 14 but I had to be the man of the house. It was only me and mama. My daddy barely came around so I had to step up.

I knew one thing, I'd never be like that nigga. I miss him sometimes but then I think of all the times he left us struggling and I start to hate him.

If I worked the block I would make sure my people straight and not just myself.

I called out to my mama again. I figured she was sleep so I went to her room. I knocked on the door. I was always taught to knock before coming in. If I didn't mama would've threw whatever she got her hand on at me.

I knocked again, still no answer. "Mama. Mama." I called her name atleast 2 more times before just going in. I saw her laying on the bed sleep but something didn't look right, no something didn't feel right.

Mama never slept hard to the point where she didn't hear me call her. I went over to the other side of the bed and saw a bottle of pills and my mama's hand hanging off the bed.

I picked up the bottle of pills thinking she must've dropped them. I put her arm on the bed and tucked her under the cover. It wasn't unusual for my mama to take sleeping pills.

She was always tired from work. I got in the bed next to her and lay there for a minute. I didn't want to wake her just yet. It seemed as if she was getting some much needed rest.

I sat watching her for a minute until I realized she hadn't moved, not even a little bit. I started shaking her calling her name. She didn't respond.

I shook her and called her name for what seemed like forever but she never responded. I wasn't the type of kid who was sheltered from the world. I was forced to grow up early, so I knew what this meant.

In my mind I knew exactly what it was, but my heart couldn't accept it. I wouldn't accept it. I tucked my mama back into bed and lay with her again.

I just wanted some alone time with her. I knew that once I called someone I'd never be able to lay with her again. I thought about all the things she taught me in life. To be confident, to be strong and to be a protector.

I had to be strong for her. I couldn't allow myself to cry. I had to be the man and protect her. I couldn't let anyone take her from me, not just yet.

I kissed her on the forehead and put my head on her chest. I couldn't let her go. I wanted this feeling forever. Most people would've been scared but I wasn't. This wasn't the first dead body I've seen, just the first dead body I've loved.

Thoughts rushed into my head and I wondered why. Why did she leave me? Why did she hurt herself? No matter what I would always love her. I would never look at her different. She was always so strong so that's how I would chose to remember her.

After a while everything went completely silent. Even my thoughts. It was me and my mama's lifeless body. I managed to find comfort amongst the silence and fell asleep. I wanted this to last forever.

"Brother you okay?" I jumped up quickly at the sound of Rico's voice. I glanced at the window and saw that it was early in the morning. I didn't even realize so much time had passed.

I realized someone was next to me, and that's when reality had set back in for me. I yelled at Rico to not come in. I couldn't let anybody see my mama like this. I couldn't let them take her just yet.

"Dont come in here. Here I come."
"You sure? You never came back outside yesterday. Is everything okay with your mama?"

"Yeah" I said with my voice breaking. Fuck, I had to tighten up. If anybody knew me he did. By the way my voice sounded I'm sure he knew something was wrong.

I heard his footsteps getting closer until the door swung open. Rico looked at me then at mama and went silent. It's like he went into shock or something.

"Please brother, you can't say nothing. They're gonna take her from me." I looked at him with pleading eyes. "Please. You know how much she means to me I can't lose her."

After saying that I realized I had already lost her and that's when the tears finally started coming down. I didn't care anymore. I couldn't hold it in.

I wanted to be strong. I wanted to do what mama taught me but everything hurt. I lay on my mama's chest and cried for what felt like forever.

I guess I had zoned out because the next thing I know the ambulance and police were rushing into the house. It's almost like I was outside of my body as I watched the officers grab me off of mama. I watched the paramedics take her lifeless body out of the room.

For the first time I felt completely helpless. I felt useless. I was hurt to the core. Nothing mattered to me anymore. I couldn't talk and it felt like I couldn't breathe.

Watching them take away mama was like watching somebody rip my heart out my chest. I managed to drown out all the noise and chaos and all I thought about was what was I going to do.

I was empty, alone and broken.

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