Winter Baron

Chapter Twelve

Eventually Bucky fell asleep. He woke up the next morning to the sound of A.J, and Cass getting ready for school. He got up quietly, not wanting to wake Zemo, and went out to the kitchen. Sarah was up as well, she was making breakfast for everyone.
"Sorry if we woke you up." She said sheepishly.
"You didn't. I always get up early." Bucky smiles reassuringly.
"Oh good."
"What are you making?"
"Breakfast for everyone. The boys ate already, and they're leaving for school now." She said seeing the school bus pull up from the window.
"You didn't have to."
"You're a guest."
"We can cook for ourselves." Bucky laughed quietly.
"I know I just thought it would be fun to have a nice breakfast with you all."
"Sam asked for breakfast didn't he?" Bucky laughed a little harder.
"Yes. He said he would be up to help, but he's still sleeping." Sarah shook her head.
"I can help." Bucky offered.
"Alright." Sarah smiled.
"Start cracking me some eggs." She said pointing at a bowl she had out for them. He nodded, and grabbed the eggs from the fridge, and began to crack them over the bowl.
                                             ~
Zemo stretched out his arms, and realized the body next to him was missing.
"Heike..." he whispered softly, opening his eyes, and quickly coming back to reality. James... Zemo sat up. He'd thought for a moment that he was back home in Sokovia with his wife. I'm in the United States with James... He wasn't sure how that made him feel. He felt sorrow over sokovia, and his family, but he couldn't change that. He could pretend to be happy for Bucky at least. Zemo was confused for the most part. What was he to do with all these emotions?
He got out of bed, and crossed the hall to the bathroom. Once finished there he met Bucky, and Sarah in the kitchen. He noted the two of them standing together, and giggling. What is this? He felt something else, something new. Another emotion. Jealousy? He sat down at the table.
"Good morning." Bucky said, looking over his shoulder at Zemo.
"Good morning, James." Zemo smiles softly. Bucky smiled back.
"We're making breakfast, want to help?"
"If I can."
"We're almost done. Everything is ready but the eggs." Sarah said, as she began to wisp the egg yolks, Bucky had cracked into the bowl. Bucky came over to the table with two cutting boards. He placed them on the table, then brought over a tomato, asparagus, and a green bell pepper.
"We're going to chop these up. They go on the eggs."
"Alright." Zemo said, and removed the rubber band that held the asparagus together. Bucky handed him a chopping knife.
"Be careful." He said looking Zemo in the eyes. Zemo met his gaze. He hadn't held a knife since that night he'd attempted to end his life.
"Okay." He began to gracefully cut the asparagus. Bucky started with the tomato. Once the tomato was diced, he helped Zemo finish up the asparagus. Then he cut the pepper in half, and placed one half on Zemo's side. They each diced up their halves.
"All done." Bucky told Sarah, who was now pouring the eggs in a skillet on the stove.
"Alright guys bring it all over, and dump it in." They had put all the chopped ingredients into a bowl. Bucky brought it over, and dumped it in the pan with the eggs. Sarah then scrambled them together.
"Would you mind grabbing that block of cheddar out from the fridge?"
"Sure." Bucky opened the fridge again, and looked up, and down.
"Bottom drawer." Sarah specified.
"Found it." Bucky said, pulling the cheese from the drawer.
"Now there is a cheese grater in that cabinet next to the fridge. Get it down and grate some cheese over the pan."
"You got it." Buck said, reaching into the cabinet. He pulled out the utensil, and began to grate the cheese over the eggs. Sarah mixed it all together, and the eggs were scrambled, and ready to be served. As if on cue Sam walked in.
"That smells really good."
"Look who decided to finally join us." Sarah turned off the burner.
"Sorry."
"It's okay, while you were getting some beauty sleep, Bucky, and Zemo helped make breakfast."
"Thanks guys." Sam said sheepishly.
"I can set the table."
"Bucky already did!" Sarah said, with a tone, and a glare.
"What!?"
"I'm just kidding." Sarah laughed.
"I haven't gotten to it yet." Bucky laughed.
"Very funny." Sam said, getting silverware from a drawer.
"Hey, Zemo can you-"
"No, Sam. Zemo has been helping me make this breakfast. Whatever it is, you can do it." Sarah scolded.
"I haven't done much." Zemo chimes in.
"You've done more than enough, hun, and I absolutely love hearing your voice." Sarah smiled over her shoulder at him.
"What the heck was that?" Sam sighed.
"What? You know I like a sexy accent." Sarah then winked at Bucky, who blushed far more than he'd cared to. Zemo laughed softly.
"Why do you have to embarrass me in front of my friends?" Sam said, stepping over to the table. He pulled some paper towels off of the roll.
"Thank you, liébling." Zemo smiled, only he was looking at Bucky.
"And he speaks German." Sarah winked at Bucky once again. What is she doing? He looked down, blushing, and smiling softly. Sam places the towels at each seat, then puts the silverware on top of them. Once he's finished, he gets down a stack of four plates, and picks the top one up.
"Alright let's dig in." He said, packing his plate with two bacon strips, and sausage links, then the eggs. He sat down. Bucky grabbed a plate for himself, and Zemo.
"I've got you." He said.
"Thank you." Bucky returned to the table, placing Zemo's plate before him. He set his own down then asked everyone what they wanted to drink. Sarah sat down with her plate, and Bucky brought her, and Zemo a glass of water. Sam chose orange juice, and Bucky poured a glass for himself as well. It was a perfect breakfast. Every breakfast Zemo has had with Bucky has been perfect, but there was something extra fun about this one. Maybe being surrounded, but such loving people.
                                        ~
The majority of the day was preparing for the night's festivities. Sam, and Bucky moved Sarah's fire pit out front for everybody to sit around, and hand out candy to trick or treaters when they arrived. Bucky could have easily done it himself, but Sam instead of helping. Bucky, and Zemo didn't get a good look at the Halloween decor when they'd arrived the night before.
Sam, and Sarah, with the help of the boys, turned the front yard into a spooky skeleton filled cemetery. Complete with strobe lights, red lights, and a fog maker.
"It looks really great guys." Bucky said.
"When I was little, not many people decorated for Halloween. I've noticed it's a lot more common now."
"Yeah we try to do it every year." Sarah nodded as she looked over the yard. Soon enough A.J, and Cass we're home from school.
"I ordered pizza." Sam informed them.
"Yes!" The two giggled with excitement.
"Start on your homework once you're settled in." Sarah said. Once settled they did just that. Not long into the homework the pizza man arrived.
"I'll go half." Bucky said getting his wallet out.
"Okay." Sam said, also digging his wallet from his pocket. The two stood in the front yard counting cash, while Zemo, and Sarah went back into the house. Sarah started to get the plates down, and Zemo sat down beside the boys. Instantly he went into teacher mode.
"I think I've got it now." Cass smiled.
"You don't have to help."
"Oh, I see." Zemo nodded.
"Apologies."
"You don't have to do that either. You were just being nice." Cass gave him a smile, although oddly his face seemed to look more like carls in that instance. I'm
Hallucinating... Zemo thought, as Sam, and Bucky came in with the pizzas.
"Alright, the pizza boy has been paid, let's eat!" Sam places the boxes on the counter. They ordered three large pizzas. As usual Bucky got Zemo's plate.
"James, I can get my own food. I am not helpless."
"Yeah, Zemo is actually helpful!" A.J chimed in. Bucky laughed.
"I know he is. That's why I am helping him." Bucky set the plate down before Zemo.
"Thank you, James." Zemo smiles wearily.
"You okay?" Bucky caught notice of it.
"Yes I'm fine."
"Alright just-"
"Jeez, Buck let the man eat his pizza." Sam shook his head.
"That's exactly what I am trying to do." Bucky's hands dropped loudly onto his upper thighs.
"Boys." Sarah said, in her firm voice. Both of them instantly stopped. A.J, and Cass couldn't help, but giggle. Finally everyone was at the table eating. A.J, and Cass both finished their pizza, and the sun was beginning to set.
"Ten to six." Sam said, looking at his phone.
"Go get ready guys. It's almost time." The boys jumped up, cleaned up after themselves, and ran to their rooms to get their costumes. They got dressed quickly, and ran back out as quickly as they could. They were so excited.
"Taa-daa!" A.J held his arms up. Cass stood beside him.
"Oh my gosh, they're us." Bucky was completely surprised. Sam was right, he would have never guessed, but they boys were unmistakably Samuel, and Bucky.
"We made them!" A.J smiled proudly. He was dressed as his uncle, covered in red, white, and blue. He'd even cut up a sheet for wings. The shield was made from cardboard, and colored with markers. Scented markers to be exact. Cass was dressed as Bucky. Sarah let him cut the sleeve from an old shirt, and he'd wrapped his arm up on tin foil.
"You guys look great." Bucky laughed.
                                         ~
The sun set, and the night began. A large family group came down the street first. There were at least four children accompanied, but three adults. A.J, and Cass skipped out of the house with their candy baskets. Each one is shaped like a pumpkin.
"Let's go, it's starting!" A.J said, when he saw the group of trick or treaters.
"We're coming." Sam said.
"Just hold on a minute."
"Hold hands." Sarah said, taking a seat by the fire pit.
"We will." A.J called back. Sam got the fire going. Sarah was going to stay behind to hand out candy.
"I think I'll stay as well." Zemo said, hoping he wouldn't disappoint them.
"Are you sure?" Bucky asked.
"Yes, So Sarah won't be alone."
"But I wanted you to come too." Cass looked up at him.
"I'll be fine." Sarah waved.
"Are you certain?" Zemo felt a bit bad about it.
"Yes, I'm sure."
"Alright." Zemo nodded. A.J being older, walked with the group, but didn't hold anyone's hand, he felt he was too big for that. Cass held onto Bucky's hand. Sam felt a little betrayed, but he'd get over it. They walked down the street stopping at each of their neighbors for candy. Of
Course Sam, and Bucky got caught up in talking with the adults they came across. Zemo was quiet for the most part.
Soon enough Cass, who was still holding Bucky's right hand, was walking between Bucky, and Zemo. He took Zemo's hand in his empty one. Zemo was quite surprised, but he didn't mind it. The three of them were walking ahead of Sam, and A.J. That's adorable. Sam lifted his phone, and took a picture. They'd been walking for nearly thirty minutes now. Cass chatting with Bucky, and Zemo the entire time.
"It's getting closer to seven, should we start to head back?" Bucky asked Zemo. Zemo thought about it humming softly.
"I don't know. What do you think Carl?" He asked without thinking, looking down at Cass, and quickly realizing what he'd just done. Cass looked at him with a bit of confusion.
"I..."
"Zemo?" Bucky stopped.
"I've-I've got to go." Zemo dropped Cass's hand, and turned. Hurrying off the way they'd come.
"Cass, will you hold Sam's hand, I have to make sure Zemo's okay."
"Is he?"
"What?"
"Is he okay? Who is Carl? Did he forget my name?"
"N-no it's not that. It's not for me to say either."
"Okay." Cass nodded.
"What's going on?" Sam asked, catching up to them. Cass let go of Bucky, and took Sam's hand.
"He's tired, we'll see you guys back at the house." Bucky smiled, however, it was evident how worried he was.
"Okay." Sam said, as Bucky walked past him. Once out of view, Sam looked down at Cass.
"What happened?"
"We were talking, and Zemo called me Carl by accident."
"Oh...I see."
"Uncle Sam, Bucky seems awfully worried about it."
"Don't worry guys, everything's fine. We'll hit a few more houses, then head back okay. Don't forget school tomorrow."
"Awww!"
                                         ~
"Zemo, wait!" Bucky called. Zemo didn't answer, instead walking quickly, hands buried in his pockets. He was mumbling to himself softly, however, he couldn't outrun Bucky, who caught up to him quickly.
"Zem!" Bucky grabbed Zemo's arm above the elbow.
"I'm sorry!" Zemo turned to face him. Teary eyes looked up at Bucky's.
"It's alright, no one is upset. We're just worried that's all."
"I-I don't know what happened, I just...I just felt like I was with him, with Carl, with my boy!" He cried falling into Bucky's chest.
"Hey, it's okay." Bucky wrapped his arms around Zemo carefully.
"No! No it's not! It never will be!" He cried.
"I just don't understand why I couldn't save them, why I survived!"
"I'm sorry, Zemo. I can't provide that kind of closure..."
"I know...and I know I've told you I'd try to be happy, and I am trying so very hard..."
"Zemo, I'm not asking you to forget them. I know there are going to be moments like this."
"Today I..I swear he was Carl... my mind was fooling me.." maybe this was a bad idea. Bucky thought.
"Zemo, I'll never know what that's like, but I'm here for you. We all are. I promise you, we don't expect you to fully recover from any of the things you've been through, but we're here, we're listening. Your family is too, I know it, they don't want you to suffer, and neither do I. I know you're trying, and you're doing so well."
"I am?" He gathered himself.
"Yes, you are. Carl is always going to be with you, and so are we, so please don't even give up again, I can't lose you."
"You can't." Zemo's eyes met Bucky's.
"No I can't." Bucky answered sincerely. Zemo nodded.
"Let's get back to the house. Want me to carry you?"
"N-no I'm fine-" Zemo started to say, as Bucky scooped him up.
"Too bad, I'm carrying you."
"James I-"
"Just relax." Bucky instructed. Zemo was to tired now
To argue, instead he did as he was told. Sarah was still sitting at the fire pit with the candy bowl. It was half empty now. She saw Bucky coming up the drive with Zemo in his arms.
"What's wrong?" She stood up. The concern was clear in her voice, and on her face.
"Everything's fine, he just needs to rest." Buck said. Zemo's eyes fell onto the Halloween decorations. Styrofoam tombstones illuminated by red, and flashing lights. Skeletons seemed to be crawling from the fog covered ground, appearing to be closing in on him with each flash of the lights. Soon enough he recognized the skeletons as sokovians, including members of EKO Scorpion, his wife Heike, and his son Carl. Their flesh seemed to be falling from their faces.
I'm hallucinating again...I have to be. He closed his eyes not wanting to see these things any longer. Tears falling steadily. Bucky took Zemo into the house.
"Do you want to lie down?"
"Yes, but I'd like to use the bathroom first."
"Alright." Bucky took Zemo into the bathroom, and set him down.
"I'll get your pajamas."
"Thank you." Zemo sighed. Bucky came back, and set the folded clothing on the counter. He turned to step out.
"J-James wait." Zemo grabbed Bucky's arm, and stopped him.
"St-stay please."
"Are you sure?" Bucky looked over his shoulder at Zemo, who was looking down at the floor.
"Yes."
"Okay." Bucky closed the door, and faced it to give Zemo at least a little privacy. He Heard Zemo shuffling about.
"James, can I show you something?"
"Sh-show me something?" Bucky swallowed. He was so nervous.
"Yes."
"Yeah." Bucky answered, but didn't move.
"James, please turn around."
"Oh, s-sorry." Bucky turned, however, his eyes moved about trying to find a place to look that wasn't squarely on Zemo.
"P-please James I just need you to see. I don't know why, but I need you too." Zemo's voice shook. Bucky's eyes fell onto Zemo's. Bucky had already seen Zemo shirtless. He's seen, and admired Zemo's arms, long, and slender with thin wrists. His hands were also lovely, and elegant. Zemo's chest definitely had more hair than Bucky's, but he liked it. It wasn't too much, or overpowering. It was cute. He noted the stitching that would come out soon. The vertical wound looked almost completely healed. Is that what he wants me to see? Bucky asked himself.
Steel blue eyes studied Zemo's slender waist. He wasn't entirely muscular, although Bucky had seen Zemo take out those bounty hunters in madripoor, you wouldn't think Zemo was capable at first glance. He almost looked squishy to Bucky, and he liked that. He wouldn't underestimate the former EKO Scorpion commander though, he knew better. Zemo had long slender legs. One might say he's all legs. Bucky hadn't seen this much of Zemo's hips, and thighs either. They were very much on the slender side, but not lanky, or scrawny. His ankles were thin, and his feet were as elegant as his hands.
Bucky's eyes soon settled on a particular spot. His cheeks flushed uncontrollably. That's...that's a penis. Was all Bucky could think to himself followed by, it's cute. What? Not in a bad way! I like it. I like it? He hoped his expression didn't betray his thoughts. Oh but it's so cute... Of course Zemo was in no way aroused at this moment, he was quite embarrassed, head turned to the side, eyes averted from Bucky.
It was quite the package to be sure, uncircumcised, unlike Bucky, so he found it fascinating to look at. That was the moment he noticed what Zemo really wanted him to see. Scars. Scar tissue? With just that thought Bucky got down on one knee for a closer look. Most were short scars, as though Zemo had been cut with something.
A razor? A knife? Bucky wasn't sure. The scars were multiple in number, on, and around the area. The shaft, what Bucky could see of Zemo's testicles, even the inside of his thighs. He hadn't been looking closely enough a moment ago. There were a lot on Zemo's thighs to be seen. Brows furrowed. Bucky reached up, gently placing his vibranium hand on Zemo's thigh, as he inspected the area. Zemo flinched at the sudden cold touch. Bucky looked up at Zemo.
"What happened?" He asked. Zemo met his gaze, and Bucky realized just how close he was. He let go, and stood up quickly.
"Sorry!"
"It's fine. I just wanted to show you..." Zemo didn't answer the question. Should I ask again? Bucky asked himself. No. Don't push. He will tell me when he's ready, just showing me took a lot out of him I'm sure. Zemo looked at the shower. He seemed lost.
"Are you alright?"
"I think I'm going to get cleaned up."
"Okay. Did you want me to stay?"
"No. You can go...thank you."
"Okay, just call me if you need me. I'm right across the hall."
"Thank you James." Zemo nodded.
"Towels are in the closet at the end of the hall. I'll get you one. Do you want your robe?"
"No, just the towel please."
"Okay." Bucky stepped out, and returned a moment later with the towel. He set it on top of the pajamas, and stepped back out, as Zemo was starting the water. While he was showering Sam, and the boys came back. They sat down around the fire pit with Sarah.
"Did the guys make it back?" Sam asked his sister.
"Yes they went to bed I think."
"To bed?" Sam smirked playfully.
"It's still so early." A.J said. Sarah shook her head at Sam.
"Adults get tired faster." She said to her sons. Sam nodded. Suddenly Bucky stepped out of the front door, and came to sit with them.
"Everything alright?"
"I don't know." Bucky sighed.
"He's taking a shower, I'm trying so hard to help him."
"I know, Buck. You will, it's just going to take some time. Hell it might take forever.
"I really don't want it to."
"Don't worry, you can do it. Just keep showing him he's loved, and cared for. His loss is something I could never imagine, but he'd got to keep trying."
"I know." Bucky nodded, watching the fire.
"I know."
                                       ~
Zemo dried his body, and hair once he got out of the shower. He put on his pajamas, and went back to their room. By this time the fire was put out, and everyone came back inside. A.J, and Cass we're headed off to bed. Bucky met Zemo in the guest room.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"Ready for bed?"
"Yes. Are you?"
"Yeah." Bucky said, taking off his shirt, and pants. Tonight he wasn't worried about being shirtless in the same bed with Zemo. Zemo climbed in, and turned to face the center of the bed. Bucky switched the lights off, and climbed in. He faced Zemo.
"Do you want to talk about anything?"
"Yes."
"Okay." Bucky said he was ready to listen.
"I just...sharing this bed...I like it."
"Really?" Bucky was surprised to hear this.
"Yes. It reminded me of home. I woke up believing I was in Sokovia. I mistook you for Heike even. I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize for that. I feel like I should be apologizing."
"You did nothing wrong. That was all my own desire to be with them..."
"To be with them? Do you mean...dead?"
"No." Zemo shakes his head.
"I just wish they weren't...I know that is a pointless thing to wish for."
"It's not. It's normal." Bucky smiles softly. Zemo nods.
"I was going to help the boys with their homework again, and Cass, I hope I didn't frighten him tonight." Zemo sighs.
"He's alright, worried about you, but alright."
"He just reminded me so much of Carl tonight."
"I'm sorry, I brought you here."
"I didn't say it was a bad thing."
"It's not?"
"No." Zemo shakes his head.
"It just took me off guard is all. I over reacted..."
"You miss your son, you feel guilty about what happened, which, by the way, isn't your fault. It wasn't an over reaction."
"James, how do I move forward? I know I've asked before, I just don't understand how."
"I know it's hard. You need to forgive yourself, that's what's really holding you back, Zem. You need to focus on what your family would want for you, and on what's happening in your life right now. We love you, Zemo, and we understand, we want to help." Blue eyes met brown, and held their gaze. Zemo smiles softly.
"Is there anything else you need to tell me? Those wounds, you showed me them for a reason, if I know you."
"I...I'm...not yet..." Zemo turned to face the other way.
"Okay." Bucky said.
"Once you're ready, I'm here for you."
"Goodnight, James. Thank you."
"Goodnight." Bucky said, however, he did not fall asleep. Not quickly at least he stayed up, watching Zemo sleep for a while, just to make sure he was asleep, and safe.