Chappter 67

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Tw// death, hear break, cutting. Just sad things. Sorry it's not proof read it's late here.

The house was offset and filled with sorrow like a dining pool with water. Every day they woke up and felt like they were doing. Maybe for some it was because their favorite couple broke up. The one that made them believe in true love. 

Maybe it was just that it's never been the same about of happiness because to of there brightest stars had finally burned out.

There was no one answer. Everyone became pissed at tommy. I couldn't help but feel it was my fault. Right? I could have stopped this all. I wish I did. Now my head hangs low as I walked by his door everyday.

I've stopped in front of it a few times to knock. I can hear him crying but I can find the courage to open the door. Why does it hurt so bad to fall in love.  We both knew we would never make it. Well a girl could hope right?

Yeah hope get you no were.  My arms became christmas trees decided with red garland going from one side to another. I deserved it though. Maybe if I wasn't such an asshole we would have worked out.  I've been working so hard I kinda forgot how to manage time.

Streaming became my escape.  Yet this time and the views have something in common. We just wanna block out the life we have away from our screen. I streamed more often and worked longer hours for meeting.

I've eaten but not clearly was much as I should have. I've skipped days. I'm slowly drowning again. Liam  has a room across the hall frome me. Everyone in the house helps out with him it's like one family. We used to go out to eat every few week just all of us but of course I had to break that with my dumb emotions.  I felt numb. Sometimes sadness. I just wanted to feel loved again.

  Yesterday was my sister funeral. I did the same thing I did for my mom. I sang my sad little heart out.  Today I decided to change something about my routine. I got up and took a shower. Burning hot water as I wanted to feel the pain.

When I got out I put on a cute outfit and some make up. I went across the hall and got Liam ready.  We walked down stairs with him in his cute little blue shoes.  At least he was doing great. 
Phil and Will watched me.

" Y/n where are you going?" I looked over to see everyone in the living room. " a car ride do two of you wanna come with" Ranboo's and Tubbo ran to the door first. "Alright don't just don't crash the car. " Will screamed for the other room. 

Don't worry, not with them in the car. 

I grabbed my keys.  Ranboo got the front and tubbo in the back with liam. I turned on the car after I made sure everyone was buckled. 

" Mommy where are we going" my heart shattered. " were going to a store to get something special. But I can't tell you Because it's a surprise " he nodded excitedly.  "Can I play on your phone" he asked me. I gave him my phone and he opened Minecraft. I started driving.  The ride was quite no one quite knew what to say. Even if they did they didn't know how to say it.

"Y/n I'm so sorry " ranboo had a sad look of guilt. " you have nothing to be sorry for" I whispered. I couldn't cry not now.  "Y/n I really am I should have stopped Tommy I wish I could go back and fix it" I pulled into the parking lot of the shops. 

"Listen You didn't do anything wrong. You just listened to me cry and act like a little bitch. I should have just sucked it up and acted like it didn't happen. But I didn't. I can't help it. It's my fault I and I've owned up to it" I got out of the car and carried liam with me. 

"Y/n you can really beat  yourself up for that. I see you walk by his door and go to knock but never can. I hear you cry at night. You can't control what other people do. None of this is your fault. If anything it's Tommy's not yours. '' Tubbo replied. 

I couldn't say anything. I knew it was true but I didn't wanna believe that he actually hated me that much. My heart still skips  a beat everytime I hear his voice. 

I just stopped  holding on to hope he actually was joking even though I know he wasn't. I hate myself for that. We walked to the back of the pet store. I grab all the things I need for the animals I'm gonna get.  Then my eyes laid on the cats.  I fell in love.  Liam ran over to look at them. " really you went out to get a cat" ranboo let out a chuckle.

" correction two cats' ' as I pointed to liam. I walked over and scooped him up.  "Can we get that one?"  his small finger pointed to a gray one. I smiled and nodded. I asked the worker for that one and a mixed color kitten.

They snuggled together in the crate. We got everything and headed out. We made small talk before we got home. Liam went to go bother Will about lunch. Will normally make him and everyone else food with niki.  He just likes to cook with Niki. I love their friendship. 

 Ranboo and tubbo helped me carry everything up to my room. I decided to turn my closet into a kitten play area. I still drill from my dream house. Why do they have one. No clue but it's mine now.  Tubbo played with the kittens while I drilled the cute play huts to the wall. One I was all done I set up litter boxes. I had one in my bathroom and one in the cat room. I like the way it turned out. 

"What are you going to name them" rambo smiled petting the mixed colored one.  "That's pumpkins and the other one is Bee" I liked the names.  Tubbo smiled brightly scoping Bees into his hand. "I like a da bee". I'm glad that today has gone well. Well at least for now it has. 

Pumpkin

Pumpkin

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Bee

Cat Room

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Cat Room.

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