ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʀɪɴᴄᴇꜱꜱ ᴘʀᴏᴛᴇᴄᴛᴏʀ | 𝚉𝚊𝚢𝚗 𝙼𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚔 |

Chapter 36

So my silence won't
Be mistaken for peace
Am I wrong for wanting us to make it?

- Zayn

ZAYN - POV.

Fuck, I have never been so scared and fearful in my whole entire dangerous life. Going into that mission was a big no-no to my alter ego. Somehow I never wanted to go, I didn't want to go at all actually and all of the reasons all lead to Selena. 

As agents, we can never let anything go too deeply in our hearts, cause it will cause major issues to the outcome of our missions. We don't deserve to have anyone in our life cause it's too dangerous for them. I never actually loved anyone before, all in all, it was just the need. If I was talking about actually loving a woman, never, at least not personally.

But then a few days ago, it was different. I finally felt the effects of what would happen if you let your feelings loose. I was scared for my life, I finally know what it's like to be scared of death. What happens if I don't make it out. The feelings were all there, I worry that I won't be able to be with her anymore.

I remember exactly how my feelings were when I walked into her room, hours after being in a warehouse with guys, shooting at me. Selena didn't say anything, in fact. Whatshe did do was leap to her feet and run to where I stood. I righted myself in the nick of time to catch herwhen she jumped into my arms. Her lips crashed against mine, her pliant body molding to my hard planesas she kissed me like it had been months since we had last seen each other rather than hours.

And of course, I kissed her back. Hard. I didn't want to let go. I kiss her like my life depends on it, like I've been starving for it ever since I left. 

I was happy that I gave it everything because ever since then we never got another moment together. She avoided me and I was kept busy so we didn't get to speak much. It was the most frustrating thing ever, seeing her walk around and acting like nothing is happening between us. And now I'm glad we finally got out of the house once again. 

I found myself staring out from the glass wall, checking out the strings of busy Manhatten streets below from our expensive hotel suite. We got here by a private jet, just a few days ago. It's been weeks since I last went on a plane so I'm currently still jet-lagged. 

Taylor should've told me before anyone - especially before the princess - about this evening's ball. The tuxedo I had on was unbearably uncomfortable, it's good we were Manhatten in which the whether is chiller than in LA. 

I can still hear Liam's distinguishing conversation with Harry beside my bed. Liam muffled something while tying his shiny black patent leather to go with his tux. Harry was standing in front of the full-length mirror, checking himself out.