They were young, and she loved him more than anything. She wrote a love letter to him, a poetry, but nothing went like she wanted.
Nowadays, after ten years she still tries to forget.
But she can't.
Summer tour is starting, and her brother is tryin...
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Eevi
We arrived to Kemi after couple hours and we all were tired from all the travelling. We went straight to the hotel where we had our rooms, I shared the room with Niko. I layed on my bed, and I looked the ceiling. The comfy bed underneath me made me relax, and I wanted to lay here forever. Niko also layed down on his bed which was next to mine. I don't remember the last time when I was in a hotel. I haven't done anything interesting with my life in a long time. I remember when I turned 18, I didn't have any friends to go party with. Niko was 19 then and he still lived in Oulu that time. The next time I came to see my family, he dragged me to a bar, Tommi, Joonas and Joel came too. It was fun, and I drank so much that I don't remember a thing what happened after we got into the bar. But I haven't done anything that fun in years.
Still I don't have any friends, I only have Niko and the other boys. Not that I complain about it, no. I love them. They are the best company and it's never boring with them. But you know, they have their own things and are very busy especially now when everybody knows them and they have a lot of new fans. I feel pretty lonely sometimes. But then I play piano, write lyrics and sing. But I sing love songs most of the time. And you know why I sing them. How can someone be so in love? This feels unreal.
"What you want to do on your birthday?" Niko suddenly asked and I was on this world again, and not in my imaginary world. My birthday, turning 25. I think I have an age crisis already, I'm sure my hair is going grey when ever I hear that guestion. "I don't know..." I said as an answer, and I heard how Niko turned on his side and watched me. I decided to turn my head and look him back. "No but seriously. Last year.. what did you do then? Layed on your bed and drank wine all alone?" Niko said looking worried. "I like being alone." I shook my shoulders that much I could, my muscles were too relaxed to do anything. No, I don't really like to be alone. I have got used to it so much, that it feels.. too lonely. When I'm alone at my home, watching my walls, I secretly wish that someone would text me and ask me to go somewhere to do something. Because I'm too scared to ask that first. And who would I ask?
"We are going to have a party that night. We have a show at Oulu that day, and we own the after party to you." Niko smiled and I just smiled too, but in inside I felt anxious.
"Is it really fine that I'm with you guys? Don't you have enough stress and hurry without me?" That ceiling looked so nice somehow again, but I felt how Niko watched me with his green eyes, and I was too scared to look him back. I already know his answer, that yes it's fine and everybody likes that I'm with them. Is it the truth? I hate being somewhere, and everyone is asking that is everything okay and do I need something. Somehow I like it when someone asks that if I'm okay, but now it feels too exhausing and embarrasing that six men asks that, and of course the crew. I feel so.. weak. That I wouldn't make it. That everyone is having an eye on me.
