They were young, and she loved him more than anything. She wrote a love letter to him, a poetry, but nothing went like she wanted.
Nowadays, after ten years she still tries to forget.
But she can't.
Summer tour is starting, and her brother is tryin...
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Eevi
March 8pm Year 2011
I was laying on my side in my bed, squeezing the pillow under my head. It was friday, and I heard that my class and couple others had a home party at someone's house. I didn't go there. He is there. And so is she. The walls in my small room are covered by different band posters. Slowly, one tear came out of my eye. I was sad. Very sad. One month ago everything went down. My whole world exploded. My mind changed. I wasn't that happy and smiling girl anymore. My relation to food changed. I didn't want to eat anymore. I wasn't feeling like eating. My black hair was slowly changing back in to my natural color, brown. My black nailpolishes in my nails were disappearing, and I didn't find the reason to fix them. I always wear black nailpolish.
While I layed down, I watched outside of the window which was couple meters away. There was dark, but days are getting longer day by day. It was raining, clearly it was like my mind right now. I heard someone knocking my door lightly. But I didn't answer, I didn't have a reason or voice for that. "Eevi..?" I heard my dads voice. Only hearing his worried tone.. it made me feel even worse. I didn't mean to hurt my parents as well, only because of my heart was broken. Slowly he opened the door, and I saw how the light from the other side came to my room. I loved to be in my room, in darkness. It calmed my mind a little. Actually I never used lights in my room. "There is someone for you." He said gently, and I wiped the tear away. I looked to the door, and then my father stepped back. Tommi came in. I sat up, and my father closed the door behind Tommi. He smiled to me, and I smiled a little to him too.
"Why you are here? Isn't there a party or something..?" I asked, and my voice was weak. I haven't talked to anyone in hours, and that shows. "I wasn't in a party mood when I knew that you're here all alone." He sat on the bed, and his back leaned against the wall. "I'm doing just fine, as you see. Just laying here and watching outside of the window." I explained, and I sat next to him. Now we both watched outside. "You know I don't believe that." He answered. I was silent. I was a bad liar when it came to Tommi. He always saw the truth in me. Tommi put his arm around me, and slowly I let my head rest against his shoulder. "I'm hungry..." I sighed while the whole world started slowly spinning around me. "You haven't eated. We have to fix that." He then said and stood up. He looked me for a second, like waiting for me to follow him. "Let's go." He took a grip of my hand and I got up. We walked to the kitchen, my mom and dad were at the living room watching tv. Niko were somewhere with my other brother.
Tommi opened the fridge and looked inside of it, like he lived here too. I was cold, and I'm sure that my face was white, and I looked like ghost. The black circles under my eyes completed my look. "Here." He handed me some salad that my mother made yesterday. I took the plastic bowl and Tommi searched me a fork. He showed me with his hand for me to sit down, and I did as he wanted. I looked the salad, with fear. Then he placed a glass of water to the table, and he took a sit across from me. He smiled a little, and he placed his hand under his jaw, waiting for me to start eating. I looked the salad, and then him again. "You can do it. After this we can listen Him and lay on your bed." He encouraged me.
That was just a start. There was a lot worse days, days when I didn't eat at all. Days when Tommi came to visit, and he forced me to eat. Days when he almost lost his patience to me. But he didn't. He kept going. "Please, don't tell to anyone." Was all I could say from all the crying. I said it a lot. First he was okay with it. "As long as you get better." He answered and I swore it to him. But it didn't get better, so one day he told to my mom about it. I was mad of course. "Go to hell!" I shouted to him when I found out he told her. I was standing in my room, and he looked me sad, and worried. He started to leave, but then I realized what I said to him. "I'm so sorry.. please stay.. I can't be without you.." I told him, almost whispering. And he came back. Tommi never left me and that is true friendship. He never asked the reason why I didn't hang out with Olli or Emilia anymore. All he wanted was that I would get better.
Then we listened some Him, but we never listened that one song. Bury me deep inside your heart, it was the only song I would listen alone. I always hummed it, or sing it. And almost every time I cried while I listened it.
Present day
What a hangover. Terrible. I runned straight to the bathroom, and started to throw up. It felt awful, as it always is. "Are you okay?" I heard Niko's voice behind me. I took a deep breath, and then I turned my head to look him. "I enjoyed my company maybe little too much..." I sighed and stood up. "What company?" He frowned as I pressed the button of the toilet, and all that stuff from my stomach went on their own ways. I washed my hands and mouth as well before I answered. "Whiskey.." I said and Niko just sighed and rolled his eyes. "Okay miss whiskey, today we are driving back to Helsinki and it will be a long trip. Better throw up now than in the van." He pointed his finger on me. Someone knocked the door, and Niko went to open it, I sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing my forehead. "Are we ready for breakfast?" I heard Tommi's voice. "Yeah, don't know about my hangover sister over there..." I knew how Niko was grinning, and it made me feel more pissed than I already was.
Tommi walked in and suddenly he stood in front of me. "Well well well.. guess I have a new company to the passenger seat." Tommi smirked and I just layed down on my bed again, closing my eyes. "What do you mean? Don't you dare to throw me there where everyone else is sitting..." Niko was the next one to speak, and it made me grin a little. "Sorry buddy, but now I'm going to take care of this lady. Let's go to breakfast, drink some juice and eat later." Tommi helped me to pick myself up. Just like in the old days. I'm fucked up and Tommi is helping. Nothing has changed.
Little memories from the past.. what do you think? I'm very thankful to you all, for encouraring me and showing support, it made me feel better🖤 Tomorrow is the last day of this year, and what a year it has been! So much has happened. And I think we all are thankful to Blind Channel boys and their music, in a way or another🖤 I will take couple days just for myself and my family, but I will publish a new chapter as fast as I can! So, see you next year, and thank you so much for reading this and my other stories! Have a great new year, and stay safe you all🥳🖤
