Bound to the Alpha King

14 - Connection

Ivy's POV

I wanted to tell him everything.

But I couldn't.

The emotion that splayed across his face when I asked him to not force me to tell him made me want to cry. He seemed really hurt by my rejection of information. I knew that he wouldn't be the type of man that could be fooled easily, but he even exceeded my expectations by catching onto something within a mere half an hour of being alone with me.

Oh, how I wish I could say something....

I sigh as I look around the pack training area where the BBQ dinner is in full swing, as I lean on one of the fences near the perimeter, looking in. Nathaniel and I had walked back in silence after the moment at my house in my music room. We didn't have anything else to say to each other, it seems. He had thanked me for taking him around and then had gone to go talk to Tobias and a few other members of his guard before starting to mingle with the rest of the pack members here, and I was alone yet again.

I continue to look at everyone mingling, laughing, and enjoying themselves near the bonfire, and the oh so familiar pang of jealousy rages through me.

Why does everyone else get to live their lives how they want, and I'm subjected to this? Always watching, never included. I know if I were to step foot in there that all I would get would be dirty looks and whispers behind my back. My stomach grumbles as I see people eating, and I make a mental note to make myself something once this is over.

I close my eyes and tilt my head up towards the sky, wishing for the moon goddess to end my suffering.

Someone clears their throat near me, and I snap my eyes open and quickly look to my right, and my heart leaps into my throat. It's Nathaniel, with a plate of food in each hand. He extends one out to me and my mouth waters.

"Hungry?" He asks in his low voice, and I nod, taking his offering of food and balancing the plate on the top of the fence.

"Thank you. You didn't have to." I state as he stands closer to me and sets his plate down exactly like I have mine. "I noticed you weren't coming to eat, so I brought it to you."

"I would have just made myself something later, but I appreciate it." He doesn't ask why, he just looks at me half smiling, seeming happy that there's food in front of me. I take a mouthful and my hunger pains start to fade. Nathaniel eats as well, and we continue like that in silence for a few moments until he speaks again.

"It's hard to believe that I might not experience too many moments like this again."

I turn to look at him, noticing he's gazing at the now star-filled sky, the orange flames of the large bonfire illuminating his face slightly.

My god, he's handsome. His tousled black hair, chiseled jaw, and those lips?

Stop Ivy...

I pull myself back and quickly ask, "Why wouldn't you get to do things like this again? Is it because you'll be King soon?" He turns and faces me and nods. "When I become King, my time is going to be less and less for myself. I know it's part of the job, but it's not one I'm looking forward to."

He's opening up to me. Why?

"I can understand that. It's like your life just becomes something completely new and not necessarily what you want." His eyes slightly widen at my response, before he says, "Yes. I find myself wondering sometimes if I am ready to do this, but I know I have to be for my people."

I place my now empty plate on the grass before standing up again. "You shouldn't worry too much about it. You seem like you've got a handle on things. From what I've heard, you're a good leader to your pack so I am confident you'll be a great King too."