Across From Me

Twelve

Clementine never found herself in many situations where she was under a tree, with sprawling branches that provided an excellent shaded spot, where she sat with her friend, Elizabeth, on a Saturday.

Clem was utterly exhausted. She had had a busy morning, taking care of some chores that her mother insisted she had to do. Combined with the lack of sleep from the night before, Clementine was close to falling asleep under that tree, Beth's comforting presence by her side.

At the moment, she was not worried about the homework she had to do later, homework she had to do because she hadn't gotten it done on the weekdays. Nor was she worrying about school on Monday. She simply let herself be lost in the moment. Let herself be washed away in the warmth of the outside air, under the shade of a tree. It felt like summer was making its way out, and letting the cool breeze make its way in. Clementine was a little excited, as she didn't like the heat very much, but at the same time, she didn't like the cold either.

Clementine let herself be snapped out of her thoughts when she heard an odd noise coming from Beth. She was close enough to be able to hear her mumbling. She couldn't quite catch the words, they were mumbled and Beth wasn't enunciating. She could catch a few words, like 'school' and 'like' and 'idiots', which seemed very Beth-like to think about.

Clementine smiled, as it seemed like such an odd thing for Beth of all people to start developing. A minute passed, and Beth still lay there, mumbling away to herself about whatever was occupying her mind at the moment.

"Uh, Beth?" Clementine said, after finally deciding that she had to say something at least.

It took a few more calls before Beth finally snapped out of her trance-like state and faced Clementine. She looked a bit confused like she hadn't realized what she had been doing moments prior to Clementine calling her name.

Clementine didn't laugh, she kept her composure because it would be mean to laugh in the face of your friend. She didn't want it to come across like she was making fun of her, "You were lost in thought and you started to mumble a little."

Beth looked utterly embarrassed. Red immediately spread across her cheeks, ears, and down her neck. She covered her face with her hands in a move that Clem thought was quite adorable. Flustered Beth, Clementine found, was quite a good look on her. As strange as that sentence sounded.

"Ugh...sorry," Beth finally said after a minute of embarrassed fumbling, "It's a habit. I get so lost in thought I don't realize I'm doing it sometimes. Man, you must think I'm a total weirdo right now," Beth laughed, on the verge of nervous hysterics.

Clementine shook her head, not in the slightest was she thinking that, "Nah. It's normal for all of us to have weird quirks. Talking out loud is yours, and that's fine. I also have a weird quirk myself."

Beth looked at her with a skeptical expression, then snickered and told her, "Go ahead. Can't be worse than mumbling your thoughts out loud and not realizing," Despite the obvious doubt in her voice, Beth had a bit of anticipation in her voice, waiting for Clementine to tell her what weird habit she had.

Clem suddenly wondered if this was really a good idea, despite it seeming amazing moments prior. She pushed back her worries as far as she could, because she wanted to trust Beth and finally sucked it up and said, "Well, when I've had a bad day, I either eat a lot, or I pick at my skin and hair."

Those confessions were a source of insecurity that had been bothering Clementine for a very long time. A source of a lot of shame. Because any time anything went wrong, and things went wrong quite often, she had to turn to bad, but almost unavoidable habits she had picked up from the rest of her family. She felt a strange feeling of apprehension telling Elizabeth this because she was afraid deep down that Beth would start to find her weird like all the other kids. Despite everything she tried, she still felt this fear inside of her, a feeling she couldn't push away. Clementine guessed it was the product of broken trust.

"I used to pull at my hair all the time," Beth started, her eyes seeming far off, in the only way it could be when you were thinking deeply about something, "I was a skittish kid, nervous about everything. Pulling, picking, and plucking my hair was the way I grounded myself. In the end, I had to get a haircut to make myself not look like a disaster. On top of all of that, my mom tried everything to get me to stop, going as far as to buy products specifically designed for it. I stopped picking at my hair a few years ago."

Clem waited for Beth to continue, but her eyes were up to the sky, not looking at Clem. She didn't seem to have shame about her, Beth just seemed like she was remembering. Whatever it was, it seemed to have affected her a lot.

Clem wanted so badly to reach over and brush away Beth's golden hair from her face. To be able to see her eyes in full focus, under the frail light of day, lighting up her eyes. She almost did, Almost lifted her hand up to meet it with Beth's face but she pulled back. On one hand, she didn't want to snap Beth out of her trance-like state, she looked relaxed, and on the other, she didn't want Beth to react negatively.

Beth, as suddenly as she went into her trancelike state, came out of it. She turned her head, her eyes meeting Clementine's brown ones, and for a moment, the two shared a moment of sweet connection. Clementine's hand tugged at the grass and Beth's hand reached up, and for a fraction of a second, brushed against her face. She felt the trace of fingers along her cheek, even after the fingers had left it. Clem wanted to touch Beth's hand, and hold it tightly on her own.

And ever so gently, Beth took a small piece of hair from Clementine's head and pushed it away from Clementine's face. She let her hand caress the side of Clementine's face, before letting Beth's fingers trail at her hairline for a moment.

Beth's hand then left Clementine's face, and Clem almost acts on the impulse to grab them and pull them back. She lets Beth pull her hand away, but in some weird idea in her head, she felt this need to return the favor back to Beth. She let her own hand rise from her side, trail over to where Beth's hand rested at her side, and tap at the knuckles on Beth's hand. Clem swore she could hear Beth breathe out in surprise for a moment.

As Beth did, she raised her hand to Beth's face, and let her hand trail along the side of her face. Only this time, she saw Beth's, staring into Clementine's with a sort of wonder on her face, which pushed Clem to go further. She twirled a few strands of Beth's hair in her hands, letting them fall after a moment. She brushed the remaining hairpieces out of Beth's face, to see her face not covered by hair or by shadows, or clothes.

Her face was a bit flushed, but Clem could make out traces of freckles and moles on her skin. She noticed the bottom lip was only slightly larger than the top, and that there was the slightest gap between Beth's two front teeth. She saw there were a few traces of acne scars and rough bumps on the edges of Beth's nose. Her eyelashes were long, but not brushed with mascara. Only tangled in each other, one of them fell to her cheek.

Clementine was utterly fascinated.

"Oh..."Beth said, breaking the trace the two were in. Clem suddenly felt the need to throw herself very very far away from where she lay.

But Beth smiled at her, if only a bit sheepishly, "Sorry, I'm just not used to being touched all that often," Clem's face burned with shame and embarrassment, and she slowly let her hand fall away from Beth's face.

"My apologies," Clem choked out, oddly formal.

Beth chuckled a little, giving Clem a little nudge, "Silly, it's okay if it's you. It's only people I don't know very well who I don't like touching me," There was a pause, "But I'm fine with you."

Clem didn't do anything, only lay there by Beth's side. But, she let her hand brush up the slightest bit against Beth's. Enjoying the moment, a brief time where the two of them could lay down and not worry about a thing.