Across From Me

Twenty Four

Clementine knew she was dreaming when everything became distorted and ugly.

She had dreamed about this particular moment a lot, one that haunted her even now. She hates thinking about it and hates dreaming about it even more. It could be less described as a dream and more as a nightmare

She was standing in front of the figures of every single one of the people she left behind. Everyone's face but Ezekiel's was blurred somewhat, and his face was contorted into a face of utter shock.

Again and again, it played over and over in her head. The same words that kept being said over and over as Celine draped her slimy disgusting arm over Clementine's shoulder. She could hear the words again and again. She felt herself say it, you guys are delusional if you think I want to hang out with people like you.

Celine had won then, getting Clementine to question herself until she finally reached her breaking point and got to this spot. Clementine before had prided herself on being a kind and fair individual but right then she had lost the very person she thought she would always be. And right when Adrian's face became clear, she could see that it wasn't shock on his face like Ezekiel's, but subtle rage, disgust, hatred, and fear.

People she had once loved so much stared at her with contempt.

She wondered how she got here. Easy days filled with laughter and sunshine were all thrown away when Clementine chose the crowd. Faceless people with drawn-on smiles and bitter comments filled with nothing but venom. Yes, that's what Clementine chose.

Happy days turned to anxious ones, and Clem saw it all in the blink of an eye. All of the future rolled up into one. The fear of being judged, the trust she had for Adrianne, the rumors. And always, with this dream, there was a brief moment of absolute hatred for the world, for people, for herself. She hated the world and wanted it to be burned. And then in the next, it would be sad, filled with regret and tears. Truth was, nothing could save her from the choices she had made.

But every time, something different happened. When she turned to leave friends, out of the corner of her eye, she would always see something. She would never get the answer to what it truly was. And this time, she saw Ezekiel's smiling face as she turned to leave him behind.

Clementine woke up. There was a brief feeling of nausea that went away as soon as it arrived. Clementine's hands were shaking, and she was covered in a thin layer of sweat that made her uncomfortable in her heavy nightclothes. Her hair was a mess, and she attempted to run her hair through with no result.

Clementine almost felt helpless in her own mind. Every thought, every single regret, and self-hating comment passed through her mind. She desperately wanted it to stop. She wanted the feeling of comfort, she wanted someone to hug her and tell her it was alright. She wanted to be a little kid again when things were easier and she could go to her mom for anything and she would always be treated like her problems mattered.

Maybe it was the desperation to talk to someone, to be told it was alright, but Clementine started to pick up her phone. She brought up the all too familiar text conversations, with a lot of nonsensical stories, random videos, and conversations being dropped off for new topics. Elizabeth was the first who came to mind.

Clementine's hands shook, and it took a long time to be able to type out the message she wanted to send. Hey, can we talk? I really need someone to talk to right now. The ever-growing panic from seemingly nowhere all but threatened to consume her. Clementine half hoped that Beth was sleeping, that she wouldn't bother her with her needless drama. But in less than a minute, she had gotten a reply. A flash on her screen and Clementine practically flung herself at her phone. She read what it said.