Chapter 9- Loki

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My jaw clenches, "I'm not trying to be

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My jaw clenches, "I'm not trying to be." I argue weakly. "I'm just trying to help."

"Yeah, right." He scoffs, "This is what you do." I watch his teeth grit, "You always ask me if I'm taking my meds. Or don't do this, Lucas. Don't do that, Lucas. That isn't healthy, Lucas. Are you being safe, Lucas? What's wrong with you, Lucas?" He mocks, his voice growing angrier, "Why can't you just treat me like a normal person?" He asks, exhaustion marrowing his features.

I wince, "I didn't know you felt like that."

"Because you never ask!" He yells, my eyes fall onto the other two in the back as they flinch.

The house finally comes into view as I park in front, "You never sit down and talk to me. You and LeRoy treat me like a fucking mental case." He growls, his eyes shining bright with anger.

"Calm down." I hiss, exiting the car but he follows after me.

He continues, "You never treat LeRoy the way you treat me." He says, "Why do you treat him like a normal kid but when it comes to me, there's always a problem. You treat me like I'm a problem." His voice cracks as he continues, "I see the way you look at me sometimes. Like you can't even stand the sight of me. You never look at me for to long and you avoid eye contact." His footsteps stop right behind me as I pause on my feet, staring at the pavement.

I close my eyes for a second before turning around to look at him clearly, "It's late." I state, "Help me bring them inside." I didn't want to talk about it because if I said what I wanted to, he'd hate me.

"Stop ignoring me." He hisses, shoving me back harshly. "Tell me why you do that."

My shoulders fall as I take in the pain in his eyes. I feel my throat tighten at how hurt he looks, "Because  I feel guilty, Lucas." I croak, "Everytime I look at you, all I see is you barely breathing on the bathroom floor." He flinches but I don't stop, "All I feel is worry because I'm so fucking scared to lose you and you don't see it. I'm so scared that you'll spiral into depression and try to leave us again." I rasp, my fist clenching.

"My heart hurts everytime I think of all the times I could've prevented it and I did nothing because I was to busy getting drunk and high. Or fighting." I sneer, "I wasn't there for you but i'm trying to be now and you won't let me." I tell him, "I'm trying. I'm trying so hard so please stop throwing it in my face that I'm not your father." I breathe, "I don't want to be your fucking good for nothing piece of shit dad. I just want to be your older brother. That's it." I finish, breathing heavily into the dark, silent air.

His chest heaves but he says absolutely fucking nothing, "Grab Milan and help him into the house." I demand, walking over to Eris's side of the car.

He hiccups, "She doesn't want you to touch her." His voice is quiet, softer.

"I...know. I just..." I struggle, "Just grab Milan, please."

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