|2nd Book in The Devil May Care Series|
They're more alike than they think.
At war with himself, Loki struggles to get his life on track. He struggles with manic depression-in other words, bipolar. He feels alone, trapped in his own mind as he refus...
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I can't close my eyes.
I can't close my eyes because every time I do, I see him. I can feel him. I can hear him.
I see him staring down at me with hunger in his cruel eyes. I see unmistakable obsession, a darkness that he use to look at my mother with. I feel his hands pushing down my pants. I feel them roaming around my skin. I feel him tugging at my hair and wrapping his fingers around my neck. I feel his cold belt touching the naked skin of my stomach. I feel his mouth against mine before moving down to my neck. I feel the way be forces himself into me. I feel the blood dripping down my leg from how rough he was. I hear his heavy breathing in my ear. I hear his moan and groaning, his threats but his encouragement is what hurts the most. Him telling me that it's okay is what hurt the most.
Sweat beads against the skin of my forehead, fear capturing me whole. Did Loki lock the door? What if someone came in? I clutch my head, trying to get rid of the memories but they hit me harder and harder. I start crying, not the quiet kind but loud kind that has the whole house waking up. I couldn't stop it or hold it in. I was to afraid to even move, think, or even close my eyes. My head hurt from the lack of sleep or maybe it was from how hard Judas had pulled at my hair.
I'm suddenly lifted off the bed and wrapped into a warm embrace, my body shaking with fright. I could still feel everything, his touch wouldn't leave my skin. Or my head.
"Oh, Eris." Loki's voice wraps around me like a warm hug. "I'm here." He cooes, "I'm right here, sweetheart." He murmurs gently, rocking me in his arms like a baby.
My face is burried into the crook of his neck, my arms cradled to my chest as I tried to control my raging heart beat. "I can't." I cry my heart out, feeling like I was on the brink of insanity.
His lips press against my temple, "Can't what?" He murmurs, "Tell me." He encourages.
"I can't sleep." I sob, hiccuping. "My head hurts. Everything hurts. I'm tired." I choke out, "I can't sleep." I repeat, "I'm scared."
He strokes my hair, "Close your eyes, Eris."
I panic, "No." I shake my head frantically, "I can't." I practically wheeze. "I don't want to. Please don't make me. Please." I hiccup, my heart beating against my chest dangerously.
"What are you so afraid?" He whispers. "What do you see when you close your eyes?"
"Did you lock the door?" I ask, urgency lace in my voice.
He nods, his face pained as he pulls back to stare down at me. "It's locked." He reassures.
My jaw trembles, "Can you check?" I whimper weakly and recoil at how afraid I sound. "I'm sorry." I apologize, "I'm sorry, you don't have too." I sniffle, pushing my finger against my lips to stop the trembling.
