CINDE, The Kings Mate (boyxboy) ✓

Chapter Nineteen

[A/N] So it took a long long while but I finally found a man with enough muscles and a sexy enough glare I could call Veldore! If my book was a movie, I'd commission him as the actor!

[Joe Manganiello as Veldore]

There waited beside the doors entrance, expecting me to move forward and follow.

There it was, the nervousness I'd been dreading. There was no way this could go well. And that thought alone glued my feet to the ground.

Gravity was not my friend today.

Despite the overflow of emotion welling inside of me I pushed myself forward. If I had stayed still any longer I knew they would have taken the opportunity to simply drag me to the alter.

I hated how nervous I felt.

It seemed as though my nervousness and unwillingness to go was some how a betrayal to my mate. I was sure I had reason enough to want to delay the ceremony however I knew it was not my choice to make.

It was my mates, and I should be accept our bonding with the expected gratitude.

But that was it. It was never the bonding I had an issue with. Every vessel in my was certain I would never even think of leaving Veldore. I had, and never will, look at another man or woman in such a way as I do Veldore.

I just hope you understand the fear that was bubbling inside of me. I was about to walk through an entire kingdom of men, all ready and willing with an eye to judge, all or most believing I had abandoned their king for whatever reason...

And then there was my family...

Was it right to call them that? When I had been under their care almost a month back, I had very little notion of what went on beyond the gates of my small uptight community. So if you had asked me whether I had thought every child to be in a similar situation...

Well, I never really thought about other children, because in my world, at the time, there was only me and my abusers. I suppose I thought it normal. Not normal in the sense that everyone else went through the same thing but normal in the sense that, that was the way it was and I had never even seen another option.

You cannot miss, what you've never had.

Still, they are my family, no matter how much I rebuke calling them so.

Do I wish to see them?

...

No.

I was not ready to see them.

So much pain they had spread through out my life, I just could not see any possibility of me getting over it. I could not imagine simply forgetting what they had done.

Meeting them was sure to reopen wounds I did not want to unravel.

I paused and the guard glared at me impatiently.

I looked over at my new friend Verity.

"Verity... Will you accompany me?"

She turned to me, surprised, then smiled and turned to the guards. "May I?"

They seemed a little miffed by the idea however seemingly had no intention of refusing her company and nodded stiffly.

She beamed and took my by the hand.