Colors (rewritten)

MAX

"If I was a color," my sister's voice sounds unusually sultry. "I would be violet."

"Why violet?" Tatiana asks.

"Because violet is a mysterious color and I have to say I'm full of mysteries." I never thought Mckayla could be so poetic, but then again she's high out of her mind, we all are.

Tatiana giggles. "Then I guess I'm green."

"Because you love the environment?" Kristen asks, laughing as well.

"Fuck the environment, I'm green because I'm full of envy. I'm practically the green eyed monster."

We all turn our attention to Tatiana, we are looking at her with caution but then suddenly, Mckayla starts to laugh, so hard that she she falls back on her carpeted floor.

The rest of us join in, rolling with Mckayla on the floor. I don't know what's so funny but we can't stop laughing. It's probably the effect of the weed, or maybe we such good friends that we make each other laugh so hard?

Nah, it's definitely the weed.

"I'm pink," Ashley says, continuing with this little game. "Because of my hair." She starts to play with the ends of her mostly pink hair.

"I'm grey, the color that's between dark and white," Kristen says. "Because I'm the innocent one here but I'm also moving to the dark side." She starts to giggle.

"You are definitely going to the dark side." Tatiana agrees with her. "I still can't believe you are a virgin though."

"Me too!" My voice is unnecessarily loud. "I don't even remember a time when I was a virgin." I say, only half jokingly.

Tatiana actually frowns at me. "Were you ever a virgin?" She actually dares to asks.

Normally Mckayla would scold Tatiana for saying something like this but because she's so hammered she laughs along with Ashley and Kristen.

But I'm not amused because I don't think Tatiana is joking. She's been giving me an attitude ever since she found out about her brother and I. I can't say I blame her but I just wish she would confront me instead of these snide comments.

If I was braver I would demand that we talk about it but I know my best, when she loses her temper all hell breaks loose and I'm scared of what she might say to me since I messed, well am messing, with the person she loves most, her brother.

We exchange looks but the others the obvious tension between us. If anything they all look like they are in different worlds, Mckayla won't stop grinning at the ceiling and for some reason Ashley has her hands all over Kristen's face while Kristen is playing with Ashley's pink curls.

Kristen and Mckayla I can understand, they are amateurs, but Ashley should be a pro since she's never clean.

Needing a break from my friends, who are acting more like me than me myself, I stand up and head up for the bathroom.

I don't know why in such a funk all of a sudden. I'm usually the most easy-going of the group but lately I haven't been as laid back.

I can pretend to be as dense as I like with others but I can't lie to myself, being with two guys is taking a toll on me.

It was all fun and games before because then I could control Santiago but lately he holds all the power and since he's a loose canon, I'm always anxiously wondering what his next move will be.

And as much as I hate to admit it, I have no one to blame but myself. I put myself in this position, I started all this with my stupid plan to get back at Nicholas. Filming myself with Santiago is probably the second most stupid thing I have ever done and the first one being giving him ammunition against me and my relationship with Nicholas.