Colors (rewritten)

ASHLEY

Strange things have been happening lately. For starters, up until today I hadn't had chocolate cookies or anything with chocolate in a really really long time. I feel like I have gained ten pounds and with good reason too, I had eight chocolate cookies! I wish I hadn't but I couldn't say no to Kristen, not when she was giving me the big green eyes.

Which brings us to the second strange thing that happened to me, Kristen kissed me! I couldn't believe it when she leaned in and kissed me. It surprised me so much that I couldn't even reciprocate, I was too numb from the shock. But still it was the best kiss ever, so much better than the time she was dared to kiss me at Nick's party.

And speaking of kisses, I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Camila kissed me last week. I'm not going to lie, it's been keeping me awake. I mean she's practically the embodiment of the antichrist and she hates me, so what on earth possessed her to kiss me? It just doesn't make any sense, how does someone go from tossing a phone in your face to kissing you?

It's very confusing but not as confusing as what's going on with Kristen and I. Does she like like me? Well, she must like me, why else would she invite me into her bed and kiss me?

Right now, as I lie next to her watching her sleep, I know that I may be confused about everything else but not about how I feel about her, I love her. She's the only person who can make me eat eight chocolate cookies. Of course I'm going to throw them up when I get home then exercise like crazy but I would do it all again just for her.

She's been sleeping for a while now. I guess Mrs Conte was right, those pills she took are pretty strong. Kristen only took two and just like that she was knocked out. I wonder how much morphine is in them. Probably a lot, if two can knock out Kristen, I wonder what the whole bottle can do. Well, only one way to find out......

No! No! No!

I quickly chastise myself. There's no way I'm going to steal Kristen's medication. I immediately look away from Kristen's dresser, where the seemingly innocent and harmless pills are lying in their little container. But I know better, they are not innocent or harmless at all, they are full of magic and not the good kind because they can make me fly one minute and then the next minute I'm falling so hard, I can't feel anything.

But I do love flying though, it feels so good that it totally makes up for the aftermath blows.

In what seems like a spur of the moment decision, I get off Kristen's bed and walk over to her dresser. I'm only going to look at them, I tell myself. Or maybe I will sample a few myself, you know just to see if they really knock you out. I know they worked on Kristen but I need to feel it for myself. Maybe I won't even a thing or maybe I will feel a lot of things, but there's only one way to know for sure.

My fingers are practically shaking as I grab the bottle of Kristen's anxiety medication. It's almost ironic because with the way my heart is pounding and my palms are sweating, I could swear I'm also having an anxiety attack.

A few seconds later I have done it, I have opened the bottle. There are a bunch of pills inside, covered in red and yellow capsules and this makes my heart thumb, exciting me all the more. You see, with capsules it's so easy, I don't have to go through all the trouble of crushing the pills when I'm in the mood for a different kind of release because it's already been done for me!

It's amazing how much excitement I can get over these little things. If I didn't have it under control I would think I was an addict or something.

Suddenly my phone startles me when it's start ringing, Halsey's nightmare filling the room. It's a number I don't recognize but I answer anyway.

"Hello?"

"I'm coming at your house, you better be there." An icy voice says from the other side of the line.

"Camila?" Why is she calling me and more importantly, why is she coming over at my house?

"Yes you dumb cow! We have a presentation, you would know that if you had bothered to show up at school today!" Wow, she sounds more pissed than usual.

"Oh." I don't know what else to say. If I had balls I would tell her to go to hell and hang up but I don't, and she would probably make my life a living hell if I tried that.

"Yes, oh. So you better be there when I get there!" And with that she hangs up.

Well, if I didn't drugs before, I certainly do now. That's one of the many bad things about Camila, she's unpredictable, she proved that last week when she put her tongue in my mouth. I still don't know what to make of that but I do know that I am now way more scared of her now than I was before.

Oh well, making her wait will not make it any less easier to deal with her so I better get going.

Without overthinking it much, I quickly grab the bottle of pills and push it into my jean pockets. Kristen can always get more, yeah she has the great fortune of having prescriptions.

Speaking of Kristen, she still sound asleep. She looks so peaceful and beautiful. I move back to her bed so I can at least say goodbye.

"I love you," I whisper before leaning my head and kissing her softly on the mouth. "Bye."

She doesn't react of course, but in my head I just pretend she said something like 'love you too.' No doubt she would say the words if she was fully conscious but question is, would it mean what I desperately want it to mean?

Anyway, I can't exactly dwell on it much and in especially in in Kristen's room since I have a pending meeting with the antichrist. So shortly after saying goodbye I head home and fortunately Camila isn't there yet and I remember my parents saying they were coming home late tonight, so it gives me time to prep for whatever assignment Camila and I have to do. And by 'prep' I mean she'd off my anxiety by treating myself to little fix.

I take out two capsules, open them and sprinkle them neatly on my dresser. I draw lines and soon after I start to snort that sweet sweet magic.

And it's magic indeed because what happens next is something I can only conjure up when I'm under the heavy influence of drugs.

"Kristen?"

"Shhhh," she puts her finger on my lips. "Don't say her name."

"Camila?"

"Yes but you don't have to say my name either." She whispers against my mouth. "You can pretend it's her." She starts to kiss me, first my mouth, then my neck, my breasts and she moves lower and lower and ohhhhh!

"Oh Camila," I pant, enjoying the way her mouth is kissing me, seducing me and giving me unimaginable pleasure. "Don't stop, please don't stop!" I beg her.

"I won't, I will never stop."

And she doesn't, she continues to pleasure me until I reach a mind shuttering orgasm. Who knew that under the influence Camila could be so good to me. Maybe she's high too or maybe this isn't even real, who knows? Well, I don't care, if feels way too good.

Wow I really need more of these anxiety meds.