Ava has loved and lost. The depression was ruining her deeply, after losing the love of her life, she felt worthless to the world. Ava tries to overcomes her sadness as she bumps into her old friend, Kim Taehyung.
- short story / completed
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Pain.
The dreadful feeling I was now used to. The feeling stuck to me like glue, it never left me. Losing someone you loved hurt, it hurt so much. You'll never see them again, you are just left with an empty hole in your heart.
Some say your loved ones become angels and look down on you. Or everything happens for a reason. But I never believed in anything like that, not anymore. When the cancer spread, I stopped believing in hope; I stopped believing in myself.
I should have tried more.
Another tear rolled down my face as I quickly wiped it away, I looked around the room I was in trying not to make it noticeable.
"Ava, it's been a year."
I looked away, feeling the guilt build up again, "Hey, look at me." Jimin softly moved my head to meet his eyes, "You are allowed to cry, you are allowed to show your emotions, you are only human."
I slowly shook my head. "It just hurts," my voice quietly cracked. I gazed around his room, noticing the time.
"It's getting late, I should go," I mumbled, standing up.
My knees shook as I started heading towards the door. I gazed upon a picture of all of us during our school years, how innocent we looked. I wish we could go back to those days. I wish he was still here. He was standing at the end of us all, smiling brightly. I quickly closed my eyes, trying to get the picture out of my head until Jimin snapped me out of my thoughts.
"Do you want a ride home?" Jimin offered. I grabbed onto the handle slowly shaking my head, "It's okay, thank you for the offer."
I opened his door and walked out. Before I could shut it again, Jimin grabbed a hold of the door. "Don't be so hard on yourself. We are all so proud of you, and Hobi would be too."
I swallowed hard, smiling at Jimin before turning around. I clutched on my chest, holding onto my necklace that was placed beside my heart.
Hoseok gave me the necklace on my 20th birthday, one year before he passed. He gave me it just before he proposed. He wanted to spend his life with me.
We wanted to do so much together, get married, travel and have a family of our own. Now it's all gone, along with my happiness.
"When this fever goes away, let's run away to Paris, ma chérie."
His voice echoed throughout my head. I bit my lip, trying to distract myself from my thoughts, and quickly ran down the steps.
I walked out of Jimin's apartment immediately looking up towards the sky. The sun was no longer visible, the moon shined bright along with the stars that peaked through the clouds. I crossed the road and walked towards the area I most felt safe at.
There was a lake nearest to Jimin's apartment that I adored. I loved to clear my head listening to the water sounds. It was my safe place.
I sat at my usual place, a little bench next to the gravel path that circles the lake. The usual people would walk past like walking their dogs, or out for a night jog.
I sat and admired the moon and stars reflecting off the water in front of me. I shut my eyes, listening to the cricket sounds from beside me until his face popped into my head. I quickly opened my eyes again, frustrated that I can't even look at a picture of him anymore.
It would only break my heart. I can't move on. As much as I'm pressured into doing it, I just can't.
I didn't want to betray him.
"Ava?"
I looked to my left to see someone I never thought I'd see again, Kim Taehyung.
"Tae?" I sat shocked.
"It's been a while." He trembled towards me, lowering down for a hug. I slowly stood up and wrapped my arms around his body. "I've missed you," I mumbled into his chest.
"I've missed you more, Ava."
I let go of him and met his eyes, "How have you been?" I asked. Taehyung slightly chuckled, "I should be the one asking that question Ava, how are things? Jungkook has told me you've been struggling."
I held my breath, not knowing what to say. The last time I saw Taehyung was at Hobi's funeral. He has missed so many of my painful nights.
"I'm fine, Taehyung," I lied. "Things get too much sometimes."
I sat watching the stars again, knowing it was my favourite thing to do ever since he left me on my own.
