Sword Art Online: Phantom Reaper || SAO OC

33 - Cost Of Strength

"Nyx... what if I told you... that I've killed someone before?"

Sinon spoke with a soft voice as she laid her head on Nyx's lap, both of them sitting on the ground with Nyx sitting against the cave wall. He didn't say anything in response, just sat and listened.

"Five years ago, someone tried to rob the post office in a small town in Tohoku. The news said his gun fired accidentally. But the truth is, I took the robber's gun from him... and shot him dead..."

"5 years ago..." something about that story sounded familiar to Nyx and the time period only added to the feeling. It wasn't a good familiarity, it was the kind that tugged on his anxiety and made him feel uneasy. "How old were you?"

"11 years old. Ever since then, I throw up and faint any time I see a gun. It always reminds me of the face he made just before he died... and it's terrifying."

Nyx glanced over at the wall he leaned on and looked at Sinon's rifle, which was propped up against the wall. "But here...?"

Sinon took a deep breath and spoke "In this world it's different - at least that's what I thought. I thought if I could become the strongest here, I'd become stronger out there too. But when Death Gun pointed that gun at me, I was so scared."

She held onto him tighter. Nyx felt her hands trembling and gently took them in his. "When he did, I stop being Sinon. I was the real me again. I didn't want to die, I was afraid. But I'm just as afraid to keep living with this fear. It's so bad I'd... rather be dead."

Sinon's voice was weaker and almost shaky "If I stay like this... I'll only become weaker. I don't want that."

Nyx rubbed her back in a slow and comforting way as he listened to her. She began to sob softly, completely breaking down at his side.

"You're not weak, Sinon."

"Don't say that. How would you know? I'm not... I'm not like you..."

Nyx held onto her tighter and spoke in a low voice, "You know... I've killed too."

"Y-You..." Sinon struggled to speak as she looked up at him with watery eyes. He nodded and took a breath.

"Yeah... Death Gun and I, we were players in another VRMMO, called Sword Art Online."

"So you're..."

"A so-called SAO Survivor, and so is Death Gun. He was a member of a murder guild called Laughing Coffin. They were what we called Red-Players - in other words, they were player killers. They murdered people, even though they knew they were really killing them."

Memories of his time in SAO flashed through his head. The night his guild was destroyed, the night he was ambushed by Laughing Coffin, the night they raided Laughing Coffin's base, and even the night he helped the assault team stop a smuggling ring all came to his mind, and his chest felt tight.

"They weren't the only ones though... I was a red player too at some point."

His hands were shaky and he felt his vision become blurry, but he pushed all his thoughts aside and kept talking.

"One night, me and my guild came back from a quest and he and someone else stood there waiting for us. We were ambushed by some monsters and just as we finished them off those guys attacked us. Xa- Death Gun killed two of my friends then, and what happened next... I can't say. Since then, I've been known as a murderer... "

"But, it wasn't you who killed them though, right?"

Nyx stayed silent, not knowing how to answer. He wanted to believe he didn't, but something in the back of his mind told him otherwise. Sinon noticed how his expression changed, and how afraid he looked as he told his story. It reminded her of how afraid she was, both in that moment and in the real world.