Frozen

California Part III

It is hard to suppress the ugly memories that cross my mind.

Young Julia sanding over me, her hard dark eyes not blinking as she tells me, "Get over it, your parents are never coming back. Your crying bothers me!"

"You are a cry baby! You don't let me sleep at night! I wish you will go away!"

Then the image of her next to her weeping mother opposite to me and Sam during Riley's funeral. I remember how much my jaw hurt from having it shut, grinding my teeth, to keep the tears away from my eyes. They stung so bad, but I refused to cry until Julia wouldn't see me.

With time, the echo of her voice became defying silence, even has I reached out to congratulate her on her graduation, or just to hear anything from her.

Now I am standing here, and I can see that girl standing over me again, just this time I am not on the floor anymore.

"Buenos Días Tía," I greet my aunt with a kiss and a hug.

//Good morning Aunt//

"Ale, te miras muy bien hija!" It is heartwarming how happy she is to see me. It makes me feel guilty for not visiting more.

//Ale, you look really good kid//

"You are late." Julia says in place of a greeting.

Yeah, now I remember why.

"Traffic." I shrug my shoulders.

I sit at the pristine white table, the aroma of the fresh cut lavender on a small glass vase in the center of the table doing its best to relax me, and failing.

The waiter promptly comes to ask for my drink order.

"Coffee will be fine, thank you."

I can feel my aunt's eyes examinations every inch of my face, but I can't quiet look at  her just yet. The same eyes as my mother's, same as mine.

I should be happy for the little pieces I still can find of mom, but sometimes is easier to live without than to have such a small portion of what you had. It is never enough.

"You look good Julia." I comment.

She has her beautiful long highlighted hair on a high ponytail, and wears a pretty white dress. Gold hoops and a thick gold necklace are her only accessories, oh yeah, and let's not forget the gigantic rock her brand new fiance proposed with three months ago at a La Jolla Beach weekend getaway.

I am happy for Julia. I admire her, even though she is horrible. I admire how she has made herself a place on a table where not only no other women in our family has ever dreamed to sit, but that other have tried very hard to keep her out of. She got tired of being a fish swimming against the current, so she became the shark that rules the waters.

She is fierce, beautiful, and could probably conquer the world if she wanted to.

"Thank you, you don't look so bad yourself."

Her dark eyes told me otherwise.

"No las quiero peleando hoy. Tienen mucho tiempo sin verse." Tía Clara scolds us.

//I don't want you fighting today. you have a long time without seeing each other.//

I don't want to fight. I don't even want to talk. I just want the damned keys to that damned house.

"No Tía, en realidad solo necesito las llaves."

"Nada, vas a desayunar con nosotras y después te daré las llaves."