Frozen

Final Part I

Note: 18+ Content

Our time in California got cut short by Bucky's appearance and Natasha's confession. None of us were really in any mental space to continue with the trip, our emotional wounds too big even for Disneyland to help heal. The thought of the party on Saturday just makes me feel exhausted already.

I ask Natasha to leave with us, but she says she will stay behind and cover up for us. I don't press after that. Tony, Pepper, and Thor are more than understanding that the events of the last week have been a bit too much for me and that we would be going back to New York ahead of everyone else.

I call Sam and ask him to meet us there tomorrow.

I have not heard from Reyna the whole week. I am starting to get suspicious that she might be upset with me, but I am not sure what I did for her to be.

We leave San Francisco that same afternoon, make it to Avengers Tower sometime after midnight due to the change of time zone.

It is strange how quiet it is without Tony here. Even though we are in a completely different floor, the lack of his presence is felt all over.

We cook some of the frozen food Steve has, and I get myself comfortable in a pajama set.

I will leave for DC sometime tomorrow, probably with Sam.

Steve has been as quiet and pensive as I am. We both need our space in our heads, even when his hand or some part of him is always in contact with me.

We eat our pizza and pasta on the living room, sitting side by side, the fireplace has a fire going, and Disney's Little Mermaid plays in the tv. It always makes me feel a little better.

I hum to the music, my mind not on the singing crab and fishes but on the events of the week.

On Julia and my aunt, on the house and Bucky, on the happy blissful moments with Steve. On who I want to become. For the first time in my life the future is something full of possibilities.

Yet, I am not sure where Steve's mind and heart are at right now.

I want to build a life. I want to plant my roots and grow. I want him to be part of it. But deep down I know that until Bucky isn't found safe, Steve won't be able to rest, to move on.

"This is the song you were singing the other night." Steve points out, and it takes me a little bit to register what he is talking about.

Ariel and Eric are in the boat, and Sebastian is singing "Kiss The Girl."

"I was?"

He lets a soft laugh escape, his fingers brush some curls off my face so he can see my eyes.

"You don't remember?" He asks me.

"Sorry, I do." I shake my head. "I was just thinking of something else."

I scoop closer to him and nestle myself in the crevice under his arm, which closes around my back. Steve kisses the top of my head, and starts to play with my hair.

"Are you okay?" He whispers.

"No. I am not." I sigh. "What is on your mind?"

"A lot."

"Care to share with the class?" I use my fingers to tilt his chin so he will look at me.

His eyelashes cast shadows over his cheekbones as his eyes gaze into mine. Those deep oceans that don't know how to lie.

"I am worried about Bucky. For what you tell me he is still confused." He answers. "I can't stop thinking that I failed him."

I caress his cheek, it is prickly from not shaving in a couple of days. "Is easy to say not to torture yourself, to think positive, but I know nothing will make you feel better until Bucky is safe." I run my thumb under his lower lip. "I know he is a fighter and a survivor, and I also believe he and Natasha will find their way back to each other."