A Life at Hogwarts Part 2

Can he really be Forgiven

I stood up and went to see who it was but Sirius pulled me back towards him. I shoved him back and he didn't try to grab me a second time. Pushing the kitchen door open and looking down the drawn-out hall caused my heart to burn as I looked into those dark inky eyes. My heart pulled me forward and within seconds I was jumping into his arms wrapping my legs around his waist. His hand slid under my butt for support and steadily I looked up at him. Severus was looking up the railing to the second floor then looked back at me with an eyebrow raised. I felt the eyes of a few people looking at us so I reluctantly pulled myself off of him and entered the kitchen sluggishly sitting back in the farthest seat.

"Why are you here, Snivellus? I thought you were trying to avoid this place."

Severus sneered at him sitting far away from Sirius only a few seats away from me, "Trust me I try. Dumbledore wants me to discuss something with Potter."

Sirius crossed his arms, "Just tell me, I'm his godfather afterall." I looked down at my hands rolling my eyes as Severus scoffed at him.

"Yes we all know that, as if you haven't said that enough. Dumbledore wants me to give Potter occlumency lessons. I would've declined but his orders are final afterall."

A chair screeched across the floor so I looked up and Sirius was pointing his wand at Severus. "Out of anyone who could give them why you! Why not Dumbledore, it's obvious you don't want to give them anyway."

Snape then stood up slowly and raised his wand, "He has his reasons that I don't know now put. Your. Wand. Down."

"Oh so you can attack me! Likewise Snivellus!"

"I see you're going mad not being able to leave the place you tried so hard to escape."

"Why you!" Spells were now being blasted every which way. I just stood there waiting for it to die down but the kitchen door swung open. Harry walked in befuddled and without hesitation I sent both Severus and Sirius's wands out of their hands and into mine.

I stayed quiet drawing out their fear before sighing, "Idiots I swear...sit and talk with Harry. I'm going into the study...here's your wands. Harry make sure they don't murder each other." I tossed them their wands and both gave confused looks as I stormed out of the room and walked into the study. Being bored as I was I peered at the books to see if there was anything good, nope. Seriously, how is Sirius still sane? I walked over to the window and looked out at the dull day. Snow was starting to fall as Christmas was only a few days away. I heard the door behind me creak open and cautiously close. With instinct I turned around, flicking my wrist causing their wand to fly out of their hand.

"You've gotten good..." My heart fluttered but sank when I saw no sign of joy in Severus's face. "Remus told me what you went through and I'm so sorry. I should've grabbed you that night...I- I just thought maybe you helped kill them."

I walked over to him and gently caressed his cheek before smacking his spirit out of him, "I thought you knew me! I'd never harm a soul..."

He rubbed where I painfully struck him and stepped back looking ashamed, "I need to get this off my chest, I allowed Malfoy to enter your house." He scrunched down waiting for me to hit him but I just stared at him trying to find the littlest hint of lying.

"Out."

"Y/n please I was just taking orders."

"You weren't an actual death eater yet! Also I love how when Lily was in danger you betrayed Voldemort. However when I was in danger you let it happen!"

"I learned my lesson with you! I couldn't lose both of you!"

"But you let me go! Not once but TWICE!"

"Can't we just put the past behind us," He cupped my hands, "We've both changed and we're free now."

I then pushed him away and wiped my own tears, "I could've watched Harry or Molly's kids grow up! You could've saved me but you were being a fucking coward! So instead I was raped, abused and my soul being shattered for years never leaving the manor and the only hope I had was the stories Draco told me! For years I was put down mentally and physically, told you've completely forgotten I existed. Told you were disgusted thinking I had killed the love of your life! All of that was your fault!" He froze and went to comfort me but I flinched him away, turning into a ferret hiding under the nearest cabinet. The door then opened and slammed leaving me alone in the room. Knowing he wasn't returning I crawled out and turned human again. My body trembled, my blood boiling. I looked around, this room was nice. My arms reached behind a bookshelf and uncontrollably I began knocking shelves down and throwing crap every which way. I didn't use any magic, magic makes me feel disgusting. Glass shattered with every throw. Once everything was utterly destroyed and I was breathing normally I opened the door walking passed literally everyone as if nothing happened.

"Is everything alright?"

"Everything's fine Sirius, just need to take a nap." I slowly walked up the stairs and shut my bedroom door. I snapped my fingers causing a photo album to appear. I opened it carefully going through the many pictures of me and Severus throughout the years. The times he came and supported me during the quidditch game. Severus kissing me for the first time...us cuddling in my bed after being isolated from life...I chucked the album smashing it against a vase, water dripping from the piercing stained glass. That cold hearted man never loved me.