Call Me Baby | l.s.

- Sixteen -

"So what was that you wanted to tell me?" Niall asks as him and Louis sit down at their favourite café. He's been bugging him about it all day but Louis wanted to tell him in private and the rather empty café offered enough privacy.

"I- Fuck Niall, I have a crush on Harry, a really bad crush.." Louis sighs playing with his mug as he looks at Niall, desperate for advice. "Well.. I mean I get it, he's hot." Niall shrugs playing it down. "It's just an innocent crush Louis, no big deal. I'm sure you'll get over it if you find the right guy for yourself."

Niall lifts his cup taking a sip from his hot chocolate, Louis shakes his head looking down at the mug as he stops fiddle with it. "I have actual feelings for him.." He pauses for a second, he feels like he might choke on his words but he needs to get it out of his system.

"We had sex.. We have sex regularly actually..." His voice is a soft whisper, he doesn't dare to look up at Niall but he hears him choke on his chocolate, almost spitting across the table. "What did you just say?!"

Louis shakes his head, he looks up at his blond friend, his eyes filling with hot tears threatening to spill. "Y-You heard me, don't make me repeat it.." Niall tries to calm himself down, shocked by Louis' confession. "Lou.. that's your mum's husband what the fuck!"

"Shh keep it down, I know I'm a bad person, she'd hate me if she found out.." A small tear finds it's way from his eye to his cheek, rolling down his face. "I-It was an accident, all because he, well I don't know how to even explain this to you."

Louis quickly wipes the tear off his face taking a sip from his mug. "He's been watching my streams and realised it was me, that was the first time we fucked.." As Louis keeps telling the whole story Niall continues to shake his head in disbelief.

"You're both out of your minds Louis, so you don't feel guilty? You should both be ashamed.. I-I don't know what else to tell you." His voice is full of disappointment, he can't believe Louis would hurt his mum like this, intentionally as he doesn't seem like he wants to stop.

"I was just thinking about myself Ni, I want him for myself and I know that's fucked up! Finally mum found someone who makes her happy and here I am destroying it, I feel like shit."

Louis takes a deep breath letting out a sad chuckle, shaking his head. "But don't worry I get what I deserve, I'm slowly but surely falling for this asshole and he just uses me to get off.. that shit hurts, I deserve that."

Niall frowns taking Louis' hand in his as he sees him tear up again. "End this Lou, please for your and especially your mum's sake." He sighs softly, squeezing his hand he gives him a pitiful smile. "How about Liam arranges a date for you with one of his friends? Maybe you'll get your mind off of Harry and finally find a boyfriend?"

A sad smile on his lips Louis nods slowly. Niall is right, whatever him and Harry are doing is wrong, it's beyond wrong and he needs to stop, eventually it will backfire and his mum would be hurt. He knows he's a terrible person.

"Alright, yeah.. let's do that, I don't wanna hurt my mum." Louis says determined, finishing his coffee. He loves the sex with Harry and his feelings for him grow daily but it's definitely not worth hurting his own mother's feelings.

"Thank you Ni, I love you." The two of them hug, Niall sighs softly as he runs his hand up and down Louis' spine. He knows Louis usually doesn't think things through which results in dilemmas such as this one, but he's still his best friend and he wants to help him as much as he can.

Louis tried to distance himself from Harry as much as possible, only talking to him if he has to and Harry is not dumb, he sees how distanced Louis has been the last two weeks.

Saturday morning, right after Louis' mother left for work Harry catches him in the kitchen, deciding to ask him what's wrong.

"Why are you avoiding me? Did I do something?" Harry corners him, simply because he knows Louis, he will try to escape the confrontation.

He never got to touch him lately and he missed it if he was being honest. Harry only got off to him once or twice when Louis was live but other than that the boy was completely avoiding him.

Louis looks up at Harry and then to the sides, looking for options to escape this situation. He really hoped he didn't have to talk to him about this but well life somehow never goes the way Louis has planned.

"I- No you didn't." He gulps playing with the hem of his shirts, his hands sweaty as he feels his heart beat quicken by the minute. He's sure Harry can hear it from how close he's standing to him.

Harry furrows his eyebrow tilting his head. "Then why aren't we- you know, why do I have to watch you get off instead of actually fuck you?" He licks his lips, his hands finding their way to Louis' hips, gripping them tightly.

Whimpering Louis shakes his head, he closes his eyes for a second. Fuck he wants this, he really does. He craves Harry's touch, Harry's kiss, Harry's attention, all of it but he knows he can't, he shouldn't.

"W-We can't Harry.." Louis whispers, he opens his eyes again and pushes the taller man away from him, feeling his chest muscles under his fingers flex as he moves back. "It's not right, I don't- I can't have mum find out and be hurt, she'll hate me."

Harry's hands leave Louis' hips immediately when he pushes him away, sighing a bit disappointed. How come Louis now came to the conclusion that this was bad? When Harry tried to tell him a few weeks back he didn't care.

He nods nonetheless, understanding his point. "That's fine Lou, you don't have to justify your decision. I get it." He gives him a small smile, of course fucking Louis was amazing, but now Harry can work without a beautifully distracting ass on his mind and besides that, now there's nothing for Jay to find out and get upset about.
Problem solved.

Louis looks puzzled, he really didn't expect such a reaction, but of course, this was just sex for Harry, he doesn't care whether he fucks Louis, his mum or someone else, he was just his toy to use.

"Oh.. Yeah, thank you." He gives the taller man a forced smile before walking out of the kitchen up to his room. He tries to ignore the pain in his chest as he shuts his door hiding in his bed, silent tears rolling down his cheeks.

What did he expect? For Harry to beg to not let go what they had? For Harry to confess his feelings for him? Louis is not sure what he expected, but it definitely wasn't a 'Oh sure you're right'.