It always ends

eleven

Ace

She didn't stop me.

I walked out of her house and she didn't tell me to stay. That was all I needed to know, she doesn't trust me. Being in my presence is breaking her.

I could see it in her eyes. And it killed me.

I knew she wanted this. She wanted to rebuild what we once had. I could feel it, in my heart. And I wanted nothing more than to make it possible.

But she doesn't even trust me anymore.

I could see the thoughts circling in her mind. I could see the way her smile faltered every time those thoughts got to her.

She tried to hide it. But I knew her well. I knew better than to fall for the facade she used to mask her feelings.

Though, she's going to have to try a lot harder than that if she really wants to get rid of me. I won't give up just like that.

I won't give up at all.

I've been fighting for a while, on my own. And I hope one day, she'll fight with me. Together, we'll fight for us.

I reversed out of her driveway. I didn't exactly want to leave but it's what she wanted. For now.

She's confused. She doesn't know who to listen to, her heart or her mind. And I got that.

Hell, I was the reason she has to second guess everything.

Three years ago, I broke her heart and now I show up back in her life. It's all very sudden, trust me I know.

But that's not going to stop me.

I want her back. I need her back. I want nothing more than to have her in my arms again.

And I'm going to show her. I'm going to fix it. Fix us. I know I can.

I won't stop until she says it to my face that she doesn't want me. She can lie all she wants but I can always see right through her. Just like how she can see right through me.

She's scared though. Scared of me, of us. And trust me I understand. She has every right to be.

I'm the one that caused that. I depended on her in a way that wasn't healthy, for the both of us.

Over time, I've learnt to understand what she meant all those years ago. I came to peace with the fact that my feelings for her were too strong, too intense.

I've learnt that, that wasn't what we needed. We needed each other, but we couldn't depend on each other like that.

Needing someone in your life and completely depending on them were two different things. I've learnt the difference.

Now, I just have to show her that I'm better.

I turned on the radio and one of the playlists I had made for her filled the silence around me.

I've grown accustomed to being alone. Without her. I found solace in the loneliness, the emptiness, the hollowness I felt deep inside. I grew comfortable sitting with the memories and thoughts of her.

The ghost of the girl she left behind haunted me and I never wanted her to leave.

Whenever I felt the need to, I pictured she was next to me. It made me feel safe.

Now, trapped in my thoughts, I drove through the city, going nowhere in particular. Just a little trip down memory lane.

I thought back to the times we were happy together. Her bright smile, beaming up at me. The pride and adoration filling my chest as I had been the one to make her smile. Her eyes glowing with warmth, staring into mine. I felt everything.