It always ends

Seventeen

Harper

I threw the empty wrappers into the trash can and wiped my sweaty hands, caused by nervousness, on my pants.

Holding my arm out to him, he declined it, proceeding to pull me close and wrap his arm around my shoulders. "Is this okay?" he asked.

I gave him an appreciative smile. Thankful that he asked, "Yeah."

"What's next?"

I smiled contentedly as we made our way back down the sidewalk. I looked down, wanting to avoid asking him the thing I wanted to ask. There was a store a block over and I wanted to check it out.

It was the cutest. Truly. They sold adorable, little cartoon cat plushies and other anime merchandise. The main theme was my favourite anime of all time, 'My neighbour Totoro'.

I wanted to take him there so I could hurt his ego even more. It made me happy. I leaned into his embrace and let the warmth fill the emptiness around us. "Well, there's this store," I started.

"Listening."

"I really want to go with you because they have these-"

"Lingerie." he finished. My cheeks pinked, "If you wanted me to take you shopping, you could've just told me."

His smirk wasn't helping my situation. He still had this effect on me and he knew it.

I wish I was like him. Capable of keeping a straight face. Always emotionless, grumpy and brooding.

He felt nothing yet he made me feel everything.

It was a dangerous game. In the end, it was up to fate to decide whether we got to win or not.

"You're so infuriating. If you keep this up, I'm walking away."

He pulled me closer, "What? I can't flirt with you?"

"No." I stammered, my words were the complete opposite of what I wanted. But I didn't want to add to his confidence.

"Scared?"

"What would I be scared of?" He knew that I already knew the answer.

His eyes collided with mine and I felt a jolt in the energy around us. However, I wasn't going to give him the answer he was expecting.

We both knew that it was lingering between us.

The love, the passion. It was all there. But there was something blocking us from letting ourselves fall completely, again. The past, the memories. The pain that I carried deep in my heart, still.

The difference between then and now was that before, I was the one that fell deeply and completely and he was the one who watched me fall apart.

And now, I was the one grounded and guarded and he, the one who was falling. He trusted me to catch him. Simultaneously, breaking down the walls around my heart in the process.

Wasn't it beautiful?

I thought so.

That was the beauty in it all, the thrill of just letting go and giving in.

He placed a kiss on the top of my head, "Whatever is going on in your mind, don't listen to it. You shouldn't be scared of me baby."

I gave him a look, "You're unbelievable. Do you know what happened to me when I let myself fall in love with you?"

He breathed out a light chuckle, "What's that thing you like to say? That was before and this is now."

"Stop using my words against me." I said.