It always ends

twenty-two

Harper

I rolled my eyes and followed him to his room.

Going into his fancy bathroom, he leaned against the counter and I rummaged through the cupboards, searching for a wash cloth. I found a nice basket full of them and took one. Soaking it under water, I brought it to his face and gently wiped off my lipgloss.

I wasn't the only one out there but when I was a little girl, I had a liking towards nice bathrooms—nice rooms in general but those stuck out to me more. His bathroom was what I would call a good one.

He placed his hands on my waist, holding me in place as I did my thing. I tensed up as he inhaled deeply, sending tingles and sparks across my skin.

The closeness of our proximity was enough to make my knees feel weak. The way he held me, just like before, brought back a butterfly fluttering against my heart. Carrying back memories from a world away.

I thought back to all the times we had been this close. Before, it was completely fine because I got used to it. Now, his touch was something I missed but I wouldn't tell him that.

Three years later, the effect he had on me was still the same, just more intense.

I wasn't used to him.

There was still the smallest part of me that hesitated. I was already growing comfortable again yet something was holding me back.

A small wave of dread drifted over me whenever I caught myself smiling because of him. When the butterflies fluttered in my stomach and chest. It was there. When he had his arms around me. When he told me all the things I longed for. It was there. Always. Tormenting me.

I trusted him, I truly did. And I knew it was just a way of protecting myself. Last time, I wasn't prepared. This time, I wasn't sure and next time, if there would even be a next time, hopefully not but if there'd be one, I would be back to where he left me.

I still loved him but there were the memories in the back of my mind, warning me about the consequences. The possibilities. The outcome of whatever was happening between us.

I was at a point in time where there were two paths. One, I'd get to live the future I dreamed of with him or two, he'd take advantage of my vulnerable state and pull me back into the darkness.

Whichever one, it would always be him. In the end, everything would lead back to him. So I guess all I had to do now was be prepared.

Once the lipgloss was gone, I put down the cloth and pulled away from him, clearing my throat. Only to be pulled back into his embrace. My cheeks pinked but I found myself fitting perfectly against him.

"You're quiet again," he noted.

"Just thinking."

Something flashed into his eyes as he looked into mine, "About?"

I smiled and took his hands, dragging him out of the bathroom, "About how I don't want to leave this place. Ever." I let go as I fell down onto his bed, "Forget about the mall. I'm sleeping right here. Right now."

Amusement danced in his eyes, "We can go later, if you want. It's only half past noon. I could order something?"

"Pizza," I said instantly.

Nodding, he took out his phone and made a call. I got up and busied myself by looking through his closet. I don't know why but I had the urge to.

"Take all my clothes," he said, deadpan.

"I might just do that,"

My mind wandered back to the times I had stolen his clothes. He never minded. Instead, I think he liked it. Seeing me in his clothes. I remembered the sense of comfort and intimacy I got whenever I slipped them on.