With love Emma

Chapter 23

Mrs. Dennis was furious as she left Emma's chamber. She had watched Emma for the past ten months. Emma was perfect in all aspects. She was compassionate, intelligent and beautiful. Most unusual of young ladies of her age, she respected everyone regardless of their status. Lord Advent could never have found a better wife than her.

Instead of treating her properly, Lord Advent kept her at arm's length and hurt her. One look at the girl could tell she was head over heels for him. Why else would she put up with Amelia, who even tested the patience of Mrs. Dennis.

If he was going to push her away, why the hell did he ask her to move in with him. Just yesterday, she saw Emma smiling like a child at the prospect. Now, she has a permanent melancholic look.

Despite everything she didn't crumble but carried on her duties without flaw.

Mrs. Dennis angrily made her way to Lord Nicholas' study.

'Is His Grace in?' she asked Mr. Rame, not halting her steps.

Mr. Rame jumped immediately blocking her way, 'His Grace didn't want to be disturbed.'

'Move out of my way,' Mrs. Dennis barked.

'I am sorry, I cannot. I have already suffered his wrath once.'

'Just tell him I boxed you. If you do not move, that's what I am about to do.'

Mrs. Dennis pushed past Mr. Rame, entered Lord Advent's study without knocking, and locked the door behind her.

'What are you doing here?' asked Lord Advent sharply, his eyes narrowing.

'A question which I should be asking you, Master Advent.'

When he didn't answer, she prompted, 'What are you doing here instead of being with your wife?'

'I needed time to think.'

'Think what? How to hurt a caring wife even more? The girl is madly in love with you. Are you too blind to see it? All these past months she hasn't complained a single time, though she has every reason to do so. Despite everything you do, she wouldn't hear a word against you. That girl doesn't bat an eyelash when Amelia insults her but gets angry if she hears one word against you. She has starved herself the whole day because you didn't eat. She doesn't deserve to be treated like that.'

Lord Advent sadly showed the letter to Mrs. Dennis, and said, 'She found these hidden in the duchess' dressing room. Luckily, she didn't read much.'

She took the letter and read it. Her manner changed, 'Oh! Master Nicholas, have you been reading this all day?'

His silence was answer enough.

'Why are you doing this to yourself? Why are you hurting yourself?'

He remained silent again.

'Master Nicholas, what happened with Elana was not your fault. But what you do with Emma is. I know you are hurt but that doesn't give you the right to hurt her.'

'Can't you see? I am trying to protect her.'

'No, you are being a coward.'

'She deserves a better husband.'

'That is true, from the way you are acting.'

Nicholas didn't say anything, all his anger left, leaving nothing but hurt.

'I know you care for her, why are you fighting it so much? Master Nicholas, go to your wife.'

'It's too late. Our marriage is broken beyond repair.'

'It's never too late to try.'

'What will I tell her?'

'Just apologise.'

'Will she forgive me after this? Will she ever accept me?'

'For heaven's sake, Mater Nicholas, go to her. She misses you dearly and is crying her eyes out complaining about some needle prick.'

Nicholas didn't need any more push. He got up and rushed out of the study. Mrs. Dennis collected the letters and threw them into fire before leaving.

He didn't find Emma in the duchess' chamber. When he entered his chamber she was sleeping on the couch hugging his shirt. He felt like a scoundrel. He had left her, shouted at her for no reason, but here she was holding his shirt like it was her lifeline.

He gingerly picked her up and shifted her to his bed, careful not to wake her.

The morning arrived. Emma woke up to the soft snoring of Lord Nicholas. She found herself lying snugly in his embrace. For a minute, she thought she was still dreaming, but the rumbling of her stomach proved that she wasn't.

Does this mean he had forgiven her for reading his private letter? Was he no longer angry at her for barging into his study?

She nuzzled deeply on his chest inhaling his woody smell. She voiced her thoughts to his sleepy form which she would never have dared if he was awake.

'Do you have any idea how much I missed you? Do you know how much it hurt when you didn't spare me even a glance? You'd rather shout or scold, but the cold indifference kills me.' She stopped and composed herself.

She didn't notice the absence of snoring as she continued, 'I am sorry I found those letters. I was curious. If I had known... I would have never read them. Will you love me one day as much as you love El.. h..er,' her voice broke, the overwhelming jealousy forbade her from uttering Elana's name.

'I must not be a good person. How much you must be hurt, but all I feel is jealousy. I want you to write me a love letter. I want you to call me "my love". I want to have all your heart for myself. I hate myself for being a greedy person. But I can't stop wishing. Please don't push me away. I felt like I was dying.'

Tears rolled down her cheeks but the hands that brushed it away were not hers. She gasped when she realised Lord Nicholas was staring at her.

'Do you always murmur sweet things when I am asleep?'

'Your Grace, I am sorry!'

She wanted to say further but was scared to breach the subject. What if she made him angry, again.

'No, you shouldn't be the one apologizing. Nothing was your fault but I made you suffer. I am sorry. I shouldn't have lost control. Tell me what I should do to fix it.'

'You are here and that is all that matters.'

She closed the distance and kissed him. She kissed him as though there was no tomorrow. She climbed on top of him and worshipped every inch of him even the turgid length jutting out just for her.

'Emma,' moaned Nicholas as if he was in pain. Emma stopped, looking worried.

'Don't stop,' he begged.