Sad Blart : Fall Cop

Chapter 10 - Dreams

A dark room. Pitch black with the only light source being an old TV. Playing the same wildlife documentaries and crime dramas on repeat. After another day of hard work, I'm resting yet again. Lying on the same couch. Snoring endlessly with the occasional barking of a dog to disrupt my slumber as I lay in shame. Wallowing in self-pity. In my own compassionless filth. That boy was right today. I am fat. I am lonely. I don't deserve my badge. I don't deserve these shoppers. I don't deserve any of this. I'm a big empty waste. I'm a horrific beast of a man. A bearded lunatic. A failure. A pile of lard with nothing left. Is there anything to prove anymore? Anything to even say? No. Security calls. I don't matter. I was made to serve the law. To serve security. To protect the very people who stand in my way. The people who go against me. The ones who make me cry. The ones who hurt me and bring me to the point of grovelling and begging for mercy. The ones who always have to confront me. Always bringing their stupidity and their annoyances everywhere I go.

Oh, you don't want to give me your ID? You don't wanna end your petty fights? You don't wanna stop shouting?! Well, suck on that! Screw you. You foul shoppers! Why do you do this to me? Why do you attack me everywhere I stand? KId's don't even give me hugs anymore! For god's sake. Just give me a reason. Anything. Please tell me. Explain this to me. Is your safety, your security really that important?! Is it really that necessary? Is all of my suffering just for your amusement? What does any of this mean? Does any of this matter? Do you need my help? Do you need my protection? Do any of you feeble consumers need any of this? Where is this going? Where are my thoughts taking me? I really don't know. All I can do is protect, observe and report. Protect, observe and report. Protect, observe and report. Over and over as the cycle continues.

My thoughts drift in and out of my mind. These thoughts are clearly stopping me from serving a higher power. Serving the concept of safety. Serving the concept of security. Serving the West Orange Pavillion Mall. But why do i serve it? Why do I continue? What is my purpose? The meaning behind the man on the Segway. Paul Blart. Is a moment of clarity even possible? A moment of peace? Happiness? Real feelings? Real emotion? No... Only heartbreak and a horse kick. A series of negative memories ready to consume my gross little body. To consume the terrifying beard that surrounds my face. Wrapping it in sadness, grief, and dismay. Pure terror. Pure disgust. A series of bad days, lapses in judgments, and love undone. A relationship that fell apart. Cut into pieces. Pieces that buzz around my mind as I continue to dream each night. Continue to reflect on the time that's gone. The memories. The tragedies. The agony. The pure suffering and alienation that has wrecked the very point of my survival. The people I used to know. Gone but not forgotten as the memories flash between my eyes.

Bright lights. A busy California street. Students. Maya. The fresh air. Cars blaring as I try to sleep through it all and get through the night. "Please don't come back. Please don't come back. I Regret this, please. Please don't." I think to myself. Panicking in my sleep as the deepest and darkest caverns of my mind decay. Turning the event into rack and ruin as I dream about the same played-out events over and over again. Stirring every fragment of my soul. Bringing me back to where I was before. Before I went back home. Before life returned to normal. To depression, remorse, and obnoxious shoppers. Back to when I was respected. Back to when I saved Vegas. Back to when I actually meant something. Back to the end of it all. Back to where this entire story began. Back to reality.