Sad Blart : Fall Cop

Chapter 11 - Lovestruck

Standing around as I watch my daughter leave the nest, I nearly shed a tear but decided to go solo and walk out with swagger and grace. Some people are just meant to ride alone. I'm flying now. Joyful and Successful. On top of the world. I'm on my feet and ready to face whatever lies ahead. Ready to fight. Ready to face the darkness. Ready to destroy my nightmares. Powerful and assertive. I'm ready. Strolling by as I spot something... The woman of my dreams. A fellow officer on horseback. Immediately my eyes light up. She's the one. A Beautiful magnetic goddess. Someone ready to forever change the world. Someone to love for the rest of my existence. Someone who's ready to offer me an experience beyond any I have ever experienced. Someone who touches the corner of my heart. The woman that's right for me. The woman set to change everything. Then suddenly car horns blare! I turn around hurriedly in a dazed frenzy. "Woah! Hey!"- shout's the driver of the car in front of me. I apologize. "Sorry," I say calmly as the brilliance of the moment is shattered. Awkwardly broken.

Watching me with intense curiosity, the woman notices my presence. I continue to walk forward with bluster and spot the large horse moving towards me. On top sits the girl and her gorgeous enchanting face. I'm forever charmed by her sweet looks. Her alluring gaze. It's all too good to be true but she's right here in front of me. A magnificent lady worth more than all of the food the world could afford and her big brown horse. She pulls out her pen and notepad. "You know what you just did? You j walked in a business district, Sir." She says, reprimanding me before I quickly respond. "Actually it's officer..." I blurt out without much thought. The horse snorts. "Oh... I Apologize. I should've recognized the steely-eyed gaze of a fellow brother in arms." the woman says. "Still giving me a ticket?" I ask, worried. "Nope. Gonna give you my phone number. In case you wanna grab a drink sometime." The Girl says, excited at the opportunity as she passes me a piece of paper with her number.

I hesitate but get a little cocky. "Uh, I don't drink... But I do ride!" I shout as I triumphantly smack the back of the horse. Soon I realize my mistake. The legs brutally crash into me, tearing through my portly body with unbelievable ferocity and harsh blunt force. It sends shockwaves across my skin as I gasp in agony. Then I launch in the air before hitting the window of someone's car. Shattering the glass into pieces. My body instantly lands on the pavement in a flash as the loud noise of a car alarm penetrates my ears. "Are you okay?". The lady asks with concern as I lie on the hard concrete. Getting ready to speak what I think will be my last words I humorously say " Nope..... But I've never been better." My eyes begin to close as I accept my destiny. This is it. Death. The afterlife. The epilogue. The end of the show. Paul Blart's final hurrah. The penultimate moments of consciousness as the powerful impact of the horse kick resonates throughout every single functioning bone of my body. Shredding it to pieces as I face oblivion and accept my impending death. My predetermined fate as the next chapter grabs my hand. I take in the regrets and the fondest memories I've built over the years.

Suddenly I hear a strange otherworldly voice. It's Maya. "Bye, dad. See you never!" she says worryingly. Her cries ripple through my crumbling subconscious as everything fades away. Cascading and declining as I enter another world and pass out. Slowly plummeting into a bleak empty void of nothing. Everything is over. Everyone is gone. There is no world. Only a distant beeping sound as an enormous earth-shattering bang of electricity sends a violent shock to the system. Screaming in pain, my body jolts up. My eyes open and my mind relapses. I'm catapulted back into consciousness. The noise of a heart monitor makes me aware of my surroundings. My hand touches the hot pillow on the hospital bed and I stare at the lady in front of the bed with disbelief. It's the cop from earlier.

"You had quite the experience back there didn't ya?" she says." "You could say that yeah," I reply. " I just wanted to check up on you," the girl says. "No kidding," I say playfully. "Well, I also wanted to pay you a visit and apologize again, especially for the horse. She's a bit of a wild one. "She says. "Nah it's fine. It was my fault" I say trying to make her feel less guilty. Her face goes from concerned to smiling. "I'll heal up in no time" I state optimistically. "Well in that case I'll see you around." She says. "No -no please stay I... didn't get your name. " I say, hoping she'll stay. She moves closer to me. "Names Mindy," she says. "What's yours?" she inquires. "Paul. Paul Blart. I'm an officer for the West Orange Pavilion Mall in Jersey." I say. "Well what brings you to these fine Los Angeles streets?" she asks. "Well my daughter's off to UCLA and I recently got given a medal of honor in Las Vegas." Sounds kinda risky. My son went there a few years ago. Good place... Now tell me... What's this medal of honor about huh?" She asks intrigued. "Stopping a few crooks. Some real bad eggs trying to steal some art pieces." I state. "Wow. You know... I think I heard about you." She says. "Really. Where from?" I ask. " Black Friday. When you stopped a few thieves right?" She says. "Ah yeah. Back when I was willing to get married." I remark.