Sad Blart : Fall Cop

Chapter 14 - The Cycle of Anguish

The mall is a bit less crowded than normal today and I'm able to settle in comfortably again. Roaming endlessly without thought. Each day makes the pain change constantly. As time goes by and our world differs so does the experience one might suffer. The journey continues but the path keeps going as it becomes more and more agonizing to follow.

I'm always thinking about where I've been. Training. Working. Getting married. Grieving. Living through it all and taking in the beautiful world we call home. Clearing through the jungle of pain to get to the good times at the end of the show. But there are no good times and there isn't an ending. It just continues eternally. The seeking of joy will continually attack and destroy men like me. Because looking for a ray of sunshine is a mistake.

Looking for Maya is impossible. I've been trying to call her but she won't answer me. Probably hanging out with her friends. Probably forgetting the father that brought her to where she is. But I don't forget. I regret. I regret this journey. This path. However, it was the path I was born to take. The trip I needed to endure for her. For me. For my life. The life that wasn't meant to play out as it did.

Stories come and go. People have their moments. My fall is about to arrive but I can't prevent it. I can't outlast it. My time is running out. My goals are wearing thin. My aspirations are falling to the wayside. Declining slowly and soullessly as my existence and way of life erodes. Cracking into tiny pieces. Ready to burst into a cacophony of chaos. Pure agony is sure to set the fragile memories of my mind ablaze. Torching the past and forgetting the future. Keeping me stuck in a sick, twisted nightmare-inducing time known as the present. A time when I'm stood still. Gripped with terror. The violent screaming of Margret. The putrid wailing of the horn. Maya's blissful ignorance to all of it. Amy dumped me straight away. All of it has already come crashing at the gates of Hell and entered giving my mind nothing but pure unbearable intolerable discomfort no man would ever be able to face. What if I'm not a man though? What does a Man need to face? What demons can we fight? What even is a demon? What even is a bad memory? It's just another day in the mall that goes on and on and on with time only being a distant concept. We are not bound by time. We may eventually find out that we can outlast it but time will always triumph. Good and evil? Right or wrong? Time will forever rip the very fabric of morality and mortality apart. Explaining this is almost going too far.

Almost going above what you'd expect from a Mall Cop like me. However, I'm not delusional. I am not insane. I am just a man trying to find his way. Trying to fight against his hypoglycaemia. Trying to eventually return to where he was before. Because the past lets go of you but you can never truly let go of it when your journey takes you back and puts you in a cycle of anguish. A cycle you are forced to re-live until it shatters someday and your life breaks apart and your part in the story of life changes dramatically.