On The S.I.D.E.

What Do You Want, Paul?

*Camera turns on, revealing Janus with a Slytherin tie loosely hung around his neck.*

Janus: So... why exactly did everyone wait so long to tell me about Starkid? You do realize that I'm going to have to redo my villain song mashup and my love song mashup, right? I mean, I like being able to properly enjoy a version of Harry Potter without feeling guilty, but this is really inconvenient. Seriously. *shakes head* Not cool, guys.

*Intro plays, then switches back to Janus, this time with his guitar in hand*

Janus: Greetings, fellow masterminds, and welcome back to another one of my song mashups. This time, we're covering "I want" songs from different musicals, and for the first time, we'll be including Starkid in the mix—as evident by the title of the video. So... enjoy.

*He starts strumming out a basic chord pattern as the words "Corner of the Sky"—Pippin (hey look it's another mashup that starts with this show) appear at the bottom of the screen*

Janus: *singing* Everything has its season / Everything has its time / Show me a reason and I'll soon show you a rhyme / Cats fit on the windowsill / Children fit in the snow / So why do I feel I don't fit in anywhere I go? / Rivers belong where they can ramble / Eagles belong where they can fly / I've got to be where my spirit can run free / Gotta find my corner / Of the sky...

*Switches to a slightly more bouncy tune. The words change to "What If?"—Firebringer*

Janus: *singing* What if I tried something new? / Something unexpected, unprotected / Something's always just in reach / Just ignore the shit Jemilla preaches / What if I tried something more / Than what my people bargained for / I'll reinvent the human race / And shove it in Jemilla's face...

*The words change to "It Roars"—Mean Girls*

Janus: *singing* Nobody on the savannah understands / None of my closest friends even have hands / I've got dreams, exciting me / Like a fire igniting me / I try to confide in my lions / But they keep biting me / Do you ever get the feeling / Everybody else is happy / Everybody else has friends / And they're better friends then yours / It's a very recent feeling / But it's running through my body / And it roars / It roars...

*He switches from strumming to finger-picking a gentle melody. The words change to "Waiting on a Miracle"—Encanto (I know all those comments about how movies don't count will show up just like with my villain mashup but this is the most musical-like musical movie that Disney's put out in ages so IT GOES IN FUCK YOU)*

Janus: *singing* I can't move the mountains / I can't make the flowers bloom / I can't take another night up in my room / Always waiting on a miracle / I can't heal what's broken / Can't control the morning rain or a hurricane / Can't keep down this unspoken invisible pain / Always waiting on a miracle / A miracle...

*The words change to "Beautiful"—Heathers*

Janus: *singing* But I know, I know, I know / Life can be beautiful / I hope, I dream, I pray / For a better way / We were kind before / We can be kind once more / We can be beautiful / Just not today...

*The words change to "Waving Through A Window"—Dear Evan Hansen*

Janus: *singing* On the outside, always looking in / Will I ever be more than I've always been / 'Cause I'm tap, tap, tapping on the glass / I'm waving through a window / Try to speak, but nobody can hear / While I wait around for answer to appear / Always watch, watch, watching people pass / I'm waiting through a window, oh...

*Music shifts to a much more upbeat tone. The words change to "CaliforM.I.A."—Black Friday*

Janus: And when the sun shines down upon me / I'll know I'm righteous, babe / In this time of crisis, babe / And when the sun shines down over Cali / The future's priceless, babe / The past's a virus, babe / 'Cause we're CaliforM.I.A. / M.I.A. / Yeah, we're CaliforM.I.A!

*Slows down again for this one. The words change to "Maybe This Time"—Cabaret*

Janus: *singing* Maybe this time / I'll be lucky / Maybe this time, he'll stay / Maybe this time / For the first time / Love won't hurry away / He will hold me fast / I'll be home at last / Not a loser anymore / Like the last time / And the time before...

*Picks up speed again, grinning a little. The words change to "I Wanna Be"—Starship*

Janus: *singing* And I'll admit / It's all in my head / But who says it can't be real? / They may be far away / But I can safely say / It doesn't change the way I feel / I wanna be a Starship Ranger! / Even if it might sound strange / Maybe now, I'm not a Ranger / But all of that is right about to change...

*Janus takes on a very, very wild grin as he plays a hard chord. The words change to "What Do You Want, Paul?"—The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals*

Janus: *fucking BELTING* Whaddaya want, Paul? / Tell me what you desire to see / Your deepest intent, Paul! / What do you see for this company? / I'm looking for someone with strong ambition / Someone to sell their specific vision / Someone to share with precise precision their thoughts / 'Cause I want you to want!

*Goes back into a sane state as he slows down a tiny bit. The words change to "What Baking Can Do"—Waitress*

Janus: *singing* Oh, I can fix this / I can twist it into / Sugar, butter covered pieces / Never mind what's underneath it / I have done this before / Let baking be a door / To help me get through / I learned that from you / Mama, it's amazing what baking can do...

*The words change to "Dream A Little Harder"—Twisted (BEST. SHOW. EVER. FIGHT ME. I'M DREAMING A LITTLE HARDER FOR THE DAY I CAN PLAY JA'FAR. Also I couldn't choose between this, "Everything And More" and "If I Believed" so I decided to be ironic)*

Janus: *singing somewhat sarcastically* You've got to dream a little harder / When life won't go your way / Simply dream a little harder / Trust me when I say / That when you dream a little harder / You're sure to follow through / 'Cause if you're good and you're attractive / No need to be proactive / Good things will just happen to you!

*Slows down to a more melancholy tune. The words change to "I Don't Need Your Love"—Six: The Musical*

Janus: *singing quietly* It's true, I'll never be over you / 'Cause I have built a future in my mind with you / And now that hope is gone, there's nothing left for me to do / You know it isn't true / But I must say to you / That I don't need your love / No, no / No, I don't need your love / No, no / It'll never be better than it was / No, no / But I don't need your love / No, no...

*Picks up speed a tiny bit. The words change to "More Than Survive"—Be More Chill*

Janus: *singing* I'm never gonna be the cool guy / I'm more the one who's left out / Of all the characters at school / I am not the one who the story's about / Why can't someone just help me out / And teach me how to thrive? / Help me do more than survive—na na na na na na na na / More than survive—na na na na na na na na / More than survive—na na na na na na na na na / If this was an apocalypse / I would not need any tips / On how to stay alive / But since the zombie army's yet to descend / And the period is going to end / I'm just trying my best to pass the test and / Survive / Survive!

*Plays the ending riff, then hits a final chord*

Janus: Yep. That's... yeah. That was, like, fifty percent Starkid. They're good at these types of songs. Kind of wish I added more in, now that I think about it, but you know what? I'm too lazy to do another recording.

Next mashup is probably going to be my favorite Starkid songs, so expect it to be 90 percent villain songs. I am nothing if not predictable. *exhales* Anyways, I think my voice is shot by now, so... be gay, do crime, and most importantly, treat yo self. *gives the camera a lazy salute*

*Camera cuts out*

A/N: This is pure self-indulgence and I'm absolutely not sorry