Elsewhere. | A Lizkook AU

18.

What the fuck happened?? How did I mess it up so early...so badly? What else could I have done...said that would've made any difference?

Lose the word 'belief' and 'believe', for one. Not saying at all that we were meant to meet each other, that's two. All that bullshit about everything's been written down...that's probably the worst for her.

But how the fuck could I lie?! Make up some stupid joke when she's staring at me with that doll, hopeful eyes? Or maybe...maybe I read it wrongly. Maybe she wasn't looking at me the way I hoped she did. Maybe I wanted it so badly that I imagined the entire thing!

Jungkook practically threw the remaining golden liquids from the glass in his hand straight into his throat - swallowing the bitterness of his thoughts. He was perfectly contented, lying down with Lisa in his arms. He imagined perfect days ahead of joking around with her just as before, treating her with so much respect and care, showering her with gifts for the pure intention of her smiles, and ending his nights with the same feeling he had, just 2 hours ago.

What starts out quick...ends even quicker.

Didn't he knew this was coming? He was basking in the glory of the moment. The victory he felt was unlike any other...of having her everywhere, skin on skin. But when she pushed him against the wall with that question, the fear started rising. She even threatened him about their date so what was he supposed to do?

Nothing. There will be no rights, no matter how hard or smart I played it...not with her. She said she wouldn't run. Not even five minutes and she's out the door! Was it that easy for her to walk away from me? Maybe it was just a ploy. Her cunning trick to get away. Maybe it was a mistake for her and she couldn't just simply say it. She was always too secretive...too reserved to be breaking anyone's heart. Am I her punching bag then?

He chuckled disgustedly to himself, grabbing his phone and for the umpteenth time - checking and re-checking if she's Online. Wondering for the thousandth time whether he should text or call. His drunken eyes might have gotten blurry so he decided that he couldn't trust them anyway - chucking the device somewhere on the sofa before glaring at the furniture.

It's probably you. You're the curse - you cursed us! I'm gonna throw you out first thing in the morning - no, fuck that! - let's do this now! Me and you - outside!!

His mind was running wild with curses as he grunts the efforts of pushing and pulling the couch towards the door. Perhaps it was the alcohol's doing, or most-likely Jungkook was just tired. A lot of time had indeed been spent mostly on the thought of Lisa. Where should he bring her and what would impress her...the things that he thought she would like, and all the same, thinking of how real he should act in order to win her heart.

His mother always said, 'be your own self and everyone who's anyone would love you for it!'. He really did do his best to be himself. The positively charismatic Jungkook. The Jungkook who will keep trying until he gets what he deserves. The Jungkook who always looks for a deeper meaning to things. It didn't seem to matter now. It was only a few weeks but it felt like he's been here longer.

Wondering of how else he could've approach her better...wiser. His mind had gone through a wild rollercoaster, trying to get even one foot closer to the beauty that captured his heart with only one glance at a foreign airport. He can still recall what he had thought before...that kinda girl don't come around easily.

Maybe not to me...and maybe not for me. And maybe it wasn't her fault...but it wasn't mine either.

He ended up staring blankly at the sofa that he had blocked the door with unknowingly. What else could I have fucking done?