Elsewhere. | A Lizkook AU

19.

"I had an aunt...who lived by a field of wildflowers," Lisa's fingers began drawing on his chest. Her small, tired voice is trying, as if it matters for her to speak about this out of the blue. "What did she called it...a forest of oblivion..." He felt her body shuddered, as if she just lets out a private joke. 

"She loved that field. She lived alone, so she spent most time out there. Whenever we visit, I would go out there with her. She would tell me...convince me...that there's nowhere else better than to be where people can't see us. That I can be my truest self in that field...because no one will be there to judge me. It wasn't until she passed away that I learned...that my aunt Jill was a little crazy,"

He looks down with a question but could only see her hair. Jungkook's heart had been blissfully at peace since she's back in his arms...but the sound of her voice now is seeking something else. 

"I was the closest niece she had...and my mum was the closest sister who'd always visit to make sure that she's alright. She never treated aunt Jill like there's any problem...so it never dawned on me. All I could think of was how carefree she was...and happy. And I'd like to be that...to be like her...who loved the unattended, the hidden beauty despite the obvious. And the other siblings had to ruin it,"

When had Lisa ever been this honest with me? The thought had his thumb grazing her shoulder unconsciously. 

"You don't wanna die alone like aunt Jill, they said. I only have one more cousin who's a girl...the others were boys. I guess because of that, the family felt like grooming us into becoming close to perfect women. Speak softly...smile beautifully...we were like the pride they could show off with. Growing up and away from aunt Jill, I tried acting the way they wanted me to. Keep whatever I truly want only to myself. I had to...I felt like that was the only way they'd stop pestering my mom so much,"

She truly is a one-in-a-million wonder. Jungkook may never relate to the way a girl's innocence and existence being taken advantage of...nor how depressing and hurtful their bones could be, bruised for conformity.

"My cousin got married two years before I was supposed to. Naturally, they paid way too much attention for my 'supposed' wedding...the whole thing became like a fest for them. Me...my parents...we had very little say on how we want the ceremony to be. I haven't thought much about aunt Jill for a long time. But one day before the wedding, I did. And I thought about her wildflowers. I stared at the bouquet...even until after the news came. I kept thinking how much I wanted those flowers instead. I guess I will always love that field as much as her,"

There's a little bit of sadness...a melancholic feeling surrounding them and the bed they're lying on. Like someone recalling a lost memory. It turned his eyes into a pool because of that sole reason...a reason he has yet to bring up.

"I have no actual reasons on why I like them...but like aunt Jill felt in her forest of oblivion...I wanna be among them, so I can be myself...unaware and free from the expectations...disappointments. I can feel safe...and enough," She finally looked up and smiled. "To answer your question the other day,"

Aish...she keeps making my heart weak with that smile! "Your aunt Jill must've had an amazing mind. I'm sorry you lost her so soon,"

Her palm reached up to his temple. "Why are you crying? Was it too sad?"

It was. A heartache that Jungkook wanted to share...in time. "I'm just happy that you told me this...and that you're here,"

"Aww...I'm sorry! I just remembered that I haven't answered a lot of your questions -"

"That's okay," He wiped the edge of his eyes and took her hand in his. "I'm a patient man. We can do this one day at a time," 

She grinned before asking, "What's your favourite snack?" Jungkook laughed because of the sudden frown on her face. "I um...I wanted to get you a snack earlier...to apologize...but I didn't know which is your favourite,"