Elsewhere. | A Lizkook AU

25.

Jungkook haven't felt great for 3 weeks now. It seems that the drumming in his chest can only be tuned down by the greet of his new, unflattering habit of alcohol consumption. Not many things make sense to him, the same way as it does make perfect sense altogether. By the end of his nights, he'll always wonder why that is.

Why did I see you at that airport the first time? Why have I kept seeing you months after? If it's never meant to be, then why didn't I hear myself asking any sorts of questions to why you and I are so different from each other? What positivity could possibly come out of this tragedy?

'Just tell me you're okay. Please...just any word at all'

Basking in the memory of her - sitting in that chair as they shared their first kiss - he can't help but let another tear fall from the corner of his eyes as he sends another set of text messages that he knew will be left unread. At least there's a little bit of solace to find out here in the back. He's been missing her so much that all he wants is to cry like a child.

 Everywhere in his house reminded him of where she'd been. There are still her bottles of shower gel and shampoo in his bathroom, along with her toothbrush - reminding him of the many mornings they had showered together. It's painful to recall kissing her plump lips under the shower streams every time he gets under it since she left.

In his kitchen where he attempted to teach her how to make coffee...they had tons of breakfasts, lunches and dinners in there. A lot of making outs with her on the countertop too. Her free and blissful laughter still echoes in the living room, from when she had tried and lost all hope at beating him on his PS5. I can't even sleep in the room anymore, there's just too much of her in there - fuck!

Jungkook's been sleeping on the couch in his office, terrified of what the nights might say if he was to spend it at home but tonight...for some reason, tonight he wants to be nowhere else but here. The coming long hours will surely strike him harder than his own self-beating. The many 'if only' could probably lead him to burn this entire house down if not the world!

If only I hadn't detach her actions with what love was, then I could've understood her heart sooner. Why she asked about eomma...why she wanted to know more. It bruised me but if only I had made some time to understand rather than dwelling, I wouldn't have drowned myself in sorrowful drunkenness, perpetrated by my own selfish ego. Then she won't have to see me with anyone else but herself. 

Deep down he knew that these regrets provide zero help. Some nights he'd even end up being angry at this set up from what he believed was 'destiny'. Perhaps one day he will fully understand why things had to happen the way they did. He will recognize how the loss of his mother's memory had always been a piercing reminder to not take every waking moment for granted. 

"I should be used to this view by now. I don't know why I'm still surprised," Jimin frowned between him and the bottle of Jim Beam bourbon.

"Jimin-ssi..." He smiles back squeamishly and wipes the wet on his face. "How did you get in?"

The elder came forth and sat in the chair next to him. "You forgot to lock your door again. And for the record, I knocked,"

Jungkook lets out a silent 'ahh', nodding as if he's accepting yet another habit. 

"They said you left the club and went back home. I got way too excited...only to see that nothing's changed. How long will you keep this up?"

"You should ask her...this is all her doing," He almost laughed.

"Kook..." He heard the sigh as a small butterfly caught his eyes - hovering closely around one of his plants. He could practically hear Lisa's tiny voice of 'oh, that's pretty!'. "I know you're heartbroken -"