Chapter Eleven

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Jiyang had been sick for the past few days and had been hiding in his room. He doesn't understand what caused his ailment and why he was mostly feeling dizzy and weak, why he threw up whatever entered his mouth, even his favourite foods. What is happening to him? Why is he feeling this way? He hadn't felt this feeble before and this dizzy. 

Periodically he wakes up and feels as if he was knocked down by a truck and how his head spins and the fever that accompanied it made Jiyang weak and wasn't able to get up and go out the way he always does. What's happening to him? Is he going to die or something? Has this village succeeded in bewitching him or something? Jiyang asked himself while painting and sweating whenever his sickness became unbearable for him.

To add to his sickness, he missed Hoa Xuan so much and wondered why he hadn't come to visit him or even call to know why he wasn't coming to his house like he used to. Doesn't even have any place in his heart for him? Doesn't he love him at all? Didn't he miss his presence? He was supposed to come and know why he hasn't come to visit him. 

He was supposed to at least give him a call and show that he likes him and not neglect him. Was he that cheap to him? Maybe because he gave himself so cheaply that's why he doesn't regard nor even feel anything for him. Doesn't he know he gave himself out of the love he has for him? That he loves him as he had never loved anyone before.

Why can't he just feel his love and reciprocate it? Why can't he forget Xiao Zhan and love him instead? He's ready to do anything, whatever it takes, even if it means giving him all the money he owns and will also tell his parents to give him more just to have him as his boyfriend, or best husband, can't he see that? Jiyang had always cried bitterly while vomiting this bitter liquid while feeling frustrated, cheap and used.

"Just call me, Xuan, just give me a fucking call, that's all I fucking asked for. Why can't you just fucking love me, Xuan? Can't you see we're perfect together? Can't you see how much I love you and will do anything it takes to have you? Can't you see my love and sincerity for you? Can't you see I breathe and yearn for you? Please call me, just call me or come to my house. Please, Xuan... I missed you so much." Jiyang had always cried whenever he felt miserable and frustrated. He waited for two days and yet, no calls and Hoa Xuan is not coming either and decided to call him and find out why he wasn't bothering to call him.

Jiyang dialled his line several times and yet, Hoa Xuan was not picking up his calls, it seemed he was avoiding his calls and didn't want to call him. "Why are you not picking up? You're not calling and still not picking up my calls. Don't you even care about me? Don't you love me at all? Am I that invisible that you can't see my love for you?" Jiyang cried, bawling his eyes while looking at his phone screen and was expecting Hoa Xuan to call back now that he must've seen his missed calls but it never came.

Jiyang can no longer take it anymore, he doesn't seem he can survive without seeing Hoa Xuan and he wondered why of all people why should it have to be Hoa Xuan? Why did he fall for him in the first place? In the city, everyone is crawling and worshiping his feet just to be with him but this guy, he doesn't care nor regards him as anything, maybe, that was the reason why he falls for him.

He doesn't chase after as everyone does, instead, he is the one doing the chasing. He wasn't even after his parents' wealth or even cared about his background or what he had offered to give him, he didn't seem to care about those things and he can't help but love Hoa Xuan even more for that.

"But he should at least show me he cares about me, even if he doesn't love me, he should at least miss his whore that had been servicing his dick! Fuck! I'm frustrated! I just want to hate him! I want to despise him for ditching me but no matter how much I try, I just can't. I find myself loving and needing him more." Jiyang growled with his tears rolling down and had made up his mind to try as much as possible to visit him the next day.

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