LXVIII

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It's all a blur to me

It's everything I don't understand

It's the feeling of your lips

That I've forgotten

And the sound of your voice

That still haunts me

It's the ringing in my ears

When your name is said

And the tumbles of my stomach

That I tell myself is all in my head

It's the bruises I see

Scattered all over my body

And the pain I feel

When I look at all my trophies

It's not knowing

Whether I should be happy or sad

That you're gone forever

And the fealing of emptiness and dread

That throws me under

Under the covers of my empty bed

Under the weight of the voices

In my head

It's everything and nothing

It's begging to feel and trying to remember

It's wanting to feel alive

When I know all I want is to die

It's the green in your eyes

That I keep seeing when I close mine

It's the feeling of your hands

All over my body

And the struggle of trying so hard

To remain in the now

It's knowing you're dead

But now remembering how

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