43. You Are the Reason

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As I look back now on everything that has happened, I realize it takes time. Time to heal, time to forgive yourself and others. Eight months ago, I almost lost my mind. Taking someone's life, whether it's self-defense or not weighs on you. Unless you are a complete psychopath, who I am not. But most importantly it takes time to find your way back to what matters most.

My eyes locked with his, and he stole my breath right then and there. Months of not being able touch him and feel his intense stare. To feel his lips, his caresses or even to hear our bantering back in forth hurt. But I knew I needed to heal, or we wouldn't have survived.

The thing that pissed me off that day was every time we tried to get close, someone pulled us in a different direction. Don't get me wrong I was happy for our best friend's but damn, can't we catch a break? But when he says my name, my legs get weak.

"Spitfire"

Jaxon finish singing and Lucas literally pounces on him. The music changes and Chris hold out his to me.

"May I have this dance?"

I can't form words, just nod my head as I take his hand.

As the music plays and we dance everything else fades away. All the movies and books I read I thought it was a bunch of bullshit. But in this moment, nothing else matters besides us.

"I have missed you." He caresses my cheek. "I've missed you too." I lean my head against his chest as he holds me tighter. "I wish I've could have done more." He says as we sway to the music. I lift my head up to look into his eyes. "You are the reason I am sane, well for the most part. The rest I had to do on my own. The only thing I regret is the way I left. I am so sorry Chris; you did not deserve that at all." I feel the tears fall down but he quickly wipes them away.

"None of that now Spitfire. I was pissed and fucking hurt at first, but I get it now. Between Lucas, Jaxon and my brother talking sense into me...I get it." When he leaned down and kissed me, I felt like I was finally home.

That was five months ago and today is the day I am finally back for good. Chris understood me needing more time to heal. But it was so much different this time around because he visited me often at my father's house. The man even went to therapy sessions with me, if that is not love I don't know what the fuck is.

"Spitfire, I am coming to pick you up?" I can hear the excitement in his voice, and I can't deny I am so anxious and nervous. "I have my car here Chris, I'll be home shortly." I hear him growl and I can't help but giggle. "Damn it woman! Just for once let me do something for you. Besides I'm taking you somewhere." I sigh because I just wanted to go home. I've been with my dad for longer than I expected. "Fine, but you are driving me back here to get my car." I hear shuffling and whispering in the background. I wonder what the hell that is all about. "I'll be there in half hour Spitfire." With that he ends the call and I just stare at my phone.

"What a jackass." I huff as I start hauling my duffle bag to my car. "Don't worry about that sweetheart. I will send the stuff to your place." I turn around and see my dad leaning against the stairs. "I'm going to miss you sweetheart." I walk to my dad and give him a hug. "Thank you, daddy, for everything." He kisses my forehead and sighs, "You're my little girl always." I pull away and look at him and sigh. "You need to find someone for yourself dad. Mom has been gone a long time now." He gives me a smile and I see his cheeks get a little pink. "Well, I was going to tell you before everything went to hell. I met someone." I gasp and step back. " You were my priority first sweetheart, but now that you are feeling more better, we should get dinner some time." I hug him again as the doorbell rings. "I'd like that daddy."

My dad walks to the door and opens it and when I lay eyes on him again my heart beats faster. Never did I think I would ever feel like this with a guy, but I'm pulled out of my thoughts when my dad speaks.

"I guess you can bring him too." Chris looks between the two of us with a confused expression. "What did I do?" I hear my dad laugh and I miss hearing it, these past eight months were not a walk in the park. "I'm kidding son, guess we will be going on a double date soon."

"D-double date." Chris stutters and his face goes pale. Poor guy looks like he is ready to pass out. I can't help but laugh and slap my dad on the shoulder. "Daddy stop, I want to keep him not kill him." he laughs but leans in and whispers something to Chris he smiles and nods.

"You ready Spitfire?" I nod my head still trying to wrap my head around what just happened. "Yeah, let's go." I give my dad a hug and kiss on the cheek and then he surprises me and hugs Chris too. Once we are in the car opens the glove box and grabs a blind fold.

"Put this on love. I raise an eyebrow and smirk at him. "Trying to get kinky already." He chuckles and shakes his head. "Shut up and just do it."

"God so demanding...I love it." He growls and I laugh as I put the blindfold on. When he grabs my hand and bring it to his lips I sigh, I have missed this so much.

"It's good to hear you laugh love."

"I would look at you but right now I can't fucking see." He laughs again and a smile spread across my lips.

"Just a few more minutes, I promise." We sit in comfortable silence and i feel the breeze blowing against my face. Once the car stops, I hear a door shut and then I feel his arm on mine. "Just a little bit more than you can take the blindfold off." He helps me out of the car, and we take a few steps before we stop. I feel his hands gently touch my head and the blindfold is gone.

I blink a few times and see a beautiful house in front of us. It is smaller than mine but beautiful none the less. The cottage style home is surround by beautiful flowers multi color.

"Where are we Chris?"

"My house." I turn around and look at him in shock. " What, why? "

"Not the things I thought you would say."

"It's beautiful Chris but I thought..." My words drift off when he steps closer to me. "You thought what Spitfire?"

I shake my head. "Never mind" I mean we never lived together even though we were basically living together at least four to five days out of the week.

He lifts my chin and I look in his eyes and he smiles at me. "This is my home; I couldn't stay at your place after everything. I couldn't stay in the room at the football house either." I nod in understanding. " But I would like this to be our home Spitfire."

"Chris" I am stunned but happy as well I really do not want to go back to my house. It just feels tainted now.

"You are the reason I am happy Spitfire. Granted you can piss me off." I smack him on the arm, and he chuckles. "But I do the same to you. You can drive me crazy at times." I raise an eyebrow at him. If this is the way to convince me he is not doing so well. " Both in a bad and good way. You are the reason I wake up and smile in the morning because I know you are by my side. Even if we have been apart for the past eight months. But most of all you are my life Spitfire. I cannot live without you. "

I throw my hands around his neck and smash my lips to his. Tears fall down my face, but for the first time in a while they are happy tears.

"So, is that a, yes?" He asks as I try to catch my breath. I nod my head and smile brightly at him. He is the reason I felt like I can be whole again.

"You bet your sweet ass I will."

Things may finally be getting better for all of us, only time will tell. But no matter what I will gladly follow Chris wherever he may go.

A/N: Just a few more chapters of Spitfire left until I will finally be posting Ryan's story Finding You.


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