Spitfire

45. Luckiest Bitch Ever

What is wrong with me? I saw the hurt in his eyes when he was going to propose. I wanted to say yes, God I wanted to but I freaked out. I knew I wasn't ready.

Now thinking back about that day it was a stupid mistake. I stare at the strip and can't believe my eyes. As I sit on the bathroom floor I begin to cry. Not a regular cry, but full on ugly crying. I haven't cried this much since I left Chris to get stronger...to find myself again.

"Babe, are you alright? You been in there for awhile."

I wipe the tears from my eyes. I hate feeling weak, but I'm freaking out right now. What if something goes wrong again? No, I shake the thoughts from my head. I didn't know last time, this time I do.

"Spitfire."

"I- I'm fine."

My lips tremble and I try to catch my breath. I don't even hear the door open as I stare at the strip. I feel hands on my shoulders as I grip the stick tighter.

"Babe, talk to me. What's wrong? Are you feeling lost again?" I laugh a hysterical laugh. Because I do feel lost, but not like before. I shake my head as my laughter fades.

"Talk to me baby."

"Chris" I choke on a sob and look into his eyes, the concern in them almost has me crying again. I unclench my fist and stare at the strip. "I'm pregnant." I whisper.

"Wh-what?" His touch slips away from me and I see him stagger back. I show him the stick as he takes it from my hand, staring at it intensely.

"Pregnant." He looks at me finally as I bite my lips. "You're fucking pregnant?" He pulls me in his arms and laughs. "We're having a baby." His lips connect to mine and I throw my arms around his neck.

"Spitfire, I'm so fucking happy."

He helps me up and holds me tight. When he pulls back and cups my face, I see the biggest, most brightest smile I have ever seen on his face. I should have said yes when he asked me.

"I love you Spitfire" he slides his hand down and lays it on my flat stomach. "I will love our baby and you always."

I swear I am melting, and losing it all at once.

"Marry me Chris."

He stumbles back and almost loses his balance.

"Is it because you're pregnant?" I shake my head and laugh. "What? Are you the woman of this relationship now?" I question him and he crosses his arms over his bare chest.

"No, but I swear I question my masculinity around you sometimes."

"You are a dork, you know that?"

"Yeah you have told me on more than one occasion Spitfire." He takes my hand in his. "Are you sure?" I nod my head and smile.

"More than anything in my life. This between us is everything to me. I should have said yes when you asked."

His lips curl up in that smirk and he chuckles.

"Technically I asked you first love."

"And I freaked out." He picks me up and carries me into our room. "Still counts my Goddess." He lays me on the bed and hovers over me. "Are you going to answer my question jackass?" His lips hover over mine. "I'd be an idiot not to." Then his lips are on mine. As soon as lips are on me, they are off and Chris jumps off the bed.

"What the hell are you doing?"

He rummages through his drawer and then is back on the bed. He kisses me senseless as I feel a tug on my hand. When he pulls back he looks down at my hand.