Rudy Pankow And JJ Maybank Imagines

I can't do it

JJ x f!reader

Warnings: very sad, mentions of abuse

Prompt: y/n is worried about JJ and goes to see him. But when y/n gets there she gets a surprise.

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15 missed calls. I mean how the hell does JJ miss 15 calls!? I called, I texted, no response. It's really starting to worry me. He never misses a call. At least not from me. And if he does, then he calls back immediately. I decided to go see if he was home.

As I get closer and closer I can hear music blaring from inside the house. As I go to knock on the door I hear his father. "NO WONDER YOUR MOM LEFT! ITS ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT!" What the hell!? I knocked on the door but obviously no one heard it. I mean the music was way too loud. I walked around the house trying to see if I could see JJ through a window. Luckily I found him. He was pacing around running his hands harshly through his hair. I knocked on the window. And he didn't hear it. I knocked again a lot louder and his head snapped over to me. He opened the window and looked at me. "Oh my god, what happened!?" I said as I saw the fresh cuts on his face. "What the fuck do you want y/n!?" "Why are you getting mad at me? I was worried about you so I came to make sure you were okay." "There's no reason to be worried! I'm fine! I'm fucking great!" "Are you on something!?" I asked now even more worried. "No! What the fuck!?" "JJ, talk to me. Please. What's going on?" "Just leave me alone y/n." He said angrily. "No! Not till I know you're okay!" "Leave me the fuck alone or I swear to God I'll-" "You'll what!?" I yelled cutting him off. "Just leave me alone." "No." "God why won't you just listen to me!? For once just leave me the fuck alone and quit being such a clingy bitch!" "You really want me to leave?" I said with a tear rolled down my cheek. "Yes, I would just love it if you left." He said with no real emotion. "Fine but don't come crawling back to me! After all I'm just a clingy bitch!"

And with that I was gone. Of course I was worried about him but he clearly doesn't want me there. I'm just going to check on him in a bit.

*Time Skip*

I walked up to his house again. No noise what so ever. I knocked on the door. Nothing. I did it again. Nothing. I figured he just left, I started to walk away from the house and the door opened. I turned around to see a distressed JJ. He didn't even see me. And he walked straight to his dirt bike. "JJ." I said as he sat down on it. "WHAT!?" He snapped. "Talk to me. Please." I said pleading him. "Why? Why do you even care!? No one else does!" "I care! And the pogues care!" "WHY!?" "Because, you're my best friend, my boyfriend, and I'm worried about you because you have like 8 cuts and bruises on your face. And God only know how many on the rest of your body!" "I just- I can't talk about it." "You can't or you won't!?" "I can't! You wouldn't get it! You'll never understand! And then you'll just think of me as a lost cause!" "You aren't a lost cause." I said feeling hurt that he thinks I would ever think that of him. "You say that now." He looked down to the dirt beneath us. I cupped his face making him look at me.

"You aren't a lost cause! No matter what is going on I will never think that! It'll never be true." "I just- I can't do it anymore!" He said, clearly angry. "JJ, breath. Talk to me, please. I need to know what's going on." "I-I- FUCK!" He was angry with the way he couldn't just say it so he slammed his hands down on the handle of his bike. The sudden motion caused me to jump. "I'm sorry." He said. "Please, just talk to me." He was fighting back tears and I could just tell. "I-I was so close to doing it! And it wasn't the first time. But I'm too weak! I can't do it." He said the last part causing him to let out a sob. I really hope he's not talking about doing what I think he is. "Doing what JJ?" "Killing him." "Who?" "My dad." "Your da-" I cut myself off understanding everything. "Oh God- JJ." I said as tears brimmed my eyes. He stood up then said, "The first time, I was gonna shoot him. Then the next I was going to bash him in the head with a wrench. An-" he couldn't finish his sentence. My heart broke. I wrapped my arms around him and he wrapped his tightly around my waist as he continued to cry. "I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. You shouldn't have to go through everything you are. Especially alone."

*Few days later*

JJ has been doing so much better since everything happened. He just needed to understand that he does have people here for him. No matter what. Luckily he has. Now that he's back to his normal self, I have started to think back to the day I went to his house.

"God why won't you just listen to me!? For once just leave me the fuck alone and quit being such a clingy bitch!" "You really want me to leave?" I said with a tear rolled down my cheek. "Yes, I would just love it if you left." He said with no real emotion. "Fine but don't come crawling back to me! After all I'm just a clingy bitch!"

We were all hanging around John B's house and I couldn't get that one moment out of my head. Was I actually clingy? I decided to just not be as clingy towards JJ today, maybe I'm just being annoying.

*Time Skip*

We were sitting around, plotting on how we were going to get the rest of the gold, and where to put it until we can pawn it off. Usually I'm sitting next to JJ, or sitting on his lap. I'm on a complete different side of the room this time. I just don't like thinking that I am annoying to my boyfriend.

*Sorry another time skip*

"Y/n, can I talk to you?" JJ said. He looked mad. "Uh, yeah." We walked away and into the kitchen. "Is everything okay?" JJ asked. "Everything is fine." "Well you've been avoiding me all day. Did I do something wrong? Wait- is this about what happened the other day? FUCK! I knew I shouldn't have told you! Now you hate me." "JJ, it's not that! It's not that at all." "Then what? Is-is there- are y-you seeing someone else?" "What!?" "Are you!?" He said now with tears brimming his eyes. "N-no no no. It's nothing like that JJ." "I don't believe you." He said trying not to let the tears fall, but he failed. "JJ I was just trying to give you a little space to breathe." "What!? Why!?"

"Well, the other day-" "I knew it!" He cut me off. "No! Listen to me. Please." I said. "I'm listening." He said now just pissed. (God his mood swings🤣) "When I went to check on you the first time. There was some stuff said. And I guess I was just giving you some space because I don't want to be a clingy girlfriend." "Wait- you mean because I said-" he stopped. "Baby, I didn't mean anything I said. I just- I didn't want you to be there if my dad bursted into my room." "So I'm not a clingy bitch?" I said with a small laugh. "Wellllll-" JJ said and then I frowned.

"Yes, you're clingy, but I love it. I love when you just cuddle up to my side while we're concocting something dumb on John B's couch, or when you wrap your arms around my waist while we are out at a party. I love that you are always there by my side. I love you and everything about you. But your clinginess is one of my favorite parts of you." I smiled widely at him. "Wait- did you just say-" "Shit! Sorry! If that's not something you want to say back. I-I just-" "I love you too JJ Maybank." He looked at me caught off guard then smiled. "Are you going to kiss me or what?" I said laughing. He immediately pulled me close to his body and pressed his lips to mine. As we pulled apart he looked me deep in the eyes and said, "Now never EVER stop being clingy." I nodded and he pecked my lips again. "Good." He said with a smile.