In the Midst of the Crowd (Loser #1)

Chapter 38

I didn't know how to face Kobe after that. Tatlong linggo siyang hindi nagpakita sa canteen kaya akala ko ay hindi na ulit siya babalik. Sa loob ng mga araw na iyon ay naglalaro sa isip ko ang pagkikita nila ni Gayle. Mayaman siya. He has all of the necessary connections to look into our child's background. One phone call and he would know everything there was to know about Gayle.

But, judging by how he approached me, I don't think he did anything like that. I was aware of his strong desire for privacy, and perhaps I should be grateful that he allowed me to live my life freely.

"Coffee," sabi niya sa akin.

Hindi gaya ng mga nahuli niyang pagpunta sa canteen, mas maaga siya ngayon. Wala pang alas nuebe ay nandito na agad siya. I wanted to be shameless and ask him why he was gone for three weeks, but I didn't have the courage to speak my mind.

"Black?" tanong ko.

"Yeah."

I made his coffee and, after paying for it, he went back to his seat. Lumipas ang mga oras na hindi man lang niya inalis ang tingin sa laptop. He must be really busy. Hindi rin naman kasi madaling mag-handle ng kumpanya kaya nakapagtataka rin na may oras pa siya para silipin ang progress ng ipinapagawa niyang building.

I was expecting rumors about his interaction with Gayle, especially that it happened in a public place, but nothing appeared. Ayaw ko rin na mangyari iyon dahil ayokong madamay ang anak ko sa ingay ng mga tao sa paligid niya. I've had the horrible experience of being thrown into the spotlight only to be greeted with hateful comments from people who didn't even know how I lived my life.

Sa sulok ng canteen nakaupo si Kobe kaya nang dumating si Gayle kasama si Ma'am Hilario at ilang kaklase mula sa special education class para mananghalian ay hindi niya napansin ang lalaki.

"Mimimimimimimi..." she sang while watching me open her lunch box. "Yabyu, mimimimimi..."

Napangiti ako. Maraming tao sa canteen at panatag ang loob kong hindi mapapansin ni Gayle si Kobe. Ibinigay ko sa kanya ang kutsara at tinidor bago siya nilagyan ng bib. Medyo hirap at makalat pa rin siyang kumain pero dapat ay sanayin ko na siya habang maaga pa.

I watched her eat. Maayos na nakatirintas ang buhok niya kaya kitang-kita ko ang mukha niya. Tuwing nalalaglag ang ibang butil sa hita niya ay inaalis ko agad. Pinupunasan ko rin ang bibig niya kapag kumakalat ang ketchup doon.

Matapos kumain ay inayusan ko ulit siya. Pinabanguhan at pinulbusan. She was dancing and singing while I was doing that. Hindi niya rin nakalimutang patakan ako ng halik sa pisngi bago ko siya ibigay kay Ma'am Hilario.

"Pinapanood niya kayo," sabi ni Ma'am sa akin.

Napakurap ako. "Sino po?"

She smiled. "Alam kong kilala mo ang tinutukoy ko."

Something tugged at my heart, but I still gave her a smile. She tapped my shoulder before carrying Gayle. Kumaway ang anak ko sa akin habang paulit-ulit na sumisigaw ng, "Bye, mimi!"

Hindi ko maiwasang mapatingin kay Kobe habang nakatayo sa tapat ng cash register. Kagaya kanina ay nasa laptop pa rin ang buong atensyon niya. May suot siyang earphones habang nakatuon ang siko sa mesa. He placed his chin on his knuckles and looked as if he was deep in thought. After a few seconds, he breathed heavily and pulled off his earphones.

Nang tumayo siya ay mabilis akong nag-iwas ng tingin. Kanina pa siya nandito. Siguro ay uuwi na siya.

But from my peripheral vision, I saw him in front of Felice. Mukhang umoorder. I stood properly and waited for him in the cash register. He ordered pork sisig and two cups of rice. Narinig ko iyon nang klaro kaya pagkarating niya sa tapat ko ay alam ko na agad kung magkano ang dapat niyang bayaran.