The Right Side of Tanner

Chapter 33

Jenna

I hated sneaking around with Tanner, but it kind of turned me on at the same time. I want to be open with everyone about us like Chase and Lins are, but I need time. I need to make sure he is really serious about this, and I need to make sure we can have a relationship and still keep our professional relationships intact. I don't want this to affect either of our jobs.

And since this is still so new, I want to keep it to myself for a while. It's like a sexy secret just between Tanner and me. Sneaking around the apartment was hard, but is it messed up that I find it kind of hot too? I mean, running my foot up Tanner's leg that night at dinner was stupid, but I could see how much it worked him up, and I can't lie; it had me all hot and bothered. I couldn't see it, but I knew what I did made his dick hard. Not gonna lie; I was proud of that.

Then, when he got even with me that night in bed, I was on cloud nine. I've never had to keep myself quiet before. It was torture, sweet sexy torture. I had to swallow my moans and stifle my cries of pleasure so no one would hear us. Fuck, that turned me on! It made me feel dangerous and naughty.

At the complex, I finally reached my boiling point. I wanted to shout his name. I wanted him to hear what he did to me. We couldn't let loose at the apartment. So, I pulled him into that conference room and told him what I needed. I didn't even care if anyone heard us at that point. I just needed to voice my pleasure to Tanner. I needed to let him know what ecstasy he brought to my body.

I knew the roomies were suspicious. They asked what happened when they were gone, and I lied. I told them nothing happened, and I had no idea what was up with Tanner. What was I supposed to say? 'Oh, what happened? We just fucked each other's brains out repeatedly and have no intention of stopping anytime soon.'

No, I couldn't tell them. They wouldn't get it. They don't know him as I do. They don't know he's totally different than the media makes him out to be. They don't know that I'm falling for him. They don't know he told me he wants me forever or that I want him forever too.

Hell, Tanner doesn't even know that part yet, but I do; I want him forever. I'm just not ready to admit it yet. Plus, I have no idea how my boss would take it or the team's management and coaching staff. It's best that we keep it quiet for now.

~

The following week was a lot easier for Tanner and me. He got the all-clear to go back to his apartment, so we now had a place we could go to be a normal couple.

Since then, things at my apartment have resumed as usual, and no one has asked me about Tanner again. I think that storm has finally blown over. I took Lins out for mani/pedis for her birthday yesterday, and we celebrated at the apartment with Chase and Liam.

Tonight, Chase has something sweet planned for just the two of them, and they will be at a hotel for the night. I used their absence to my advantage. I told Liam I had a client meeting and wouldn't be home until late, so he'd be on his own for the night. My client meeting was actually a night in with Tanner at his place.

I felt terrible lying to Liam, but I still wasn't ready to tell everyone about Tanner and me. So, I distracted myself from feeling guilty by occupying my mind and body with all things Tanner. We ordered dinner and watched a movie on his couch. We made it maybe twenty minutes into the film before we found each other much more exciting and spent the rest of the movie making out and running our hands all over each other.

It's nice to be able to do things like this with him. Lord knows we can't do those kinds of things back at my place. Nope, if we want to feel normal, we have to come here, and I am perfectly fine with that.

We've learned a lot about one another over the past few weeks. He told me about his friends growing up, all of his favorite things to do, what he dreamed his life would be like, how he never thought he would be where he is today. He told me the stories behind all of his tattoos. 

 He got a phoenix on his arm and 'Rise from the Darkness' on his back because he wanted to do something to signify his break from his old life with his parents, who never supported him. He shared more about his parents too, what they were like, the kinds of things they'd say to him. It breaks my heart. With parents like that, it's no surprise Tanner never had a serious relationship before.

I shared more with him too. I told him all about my family. About Mom and Dad. About Lance. About Justin. I told him how Justin was my hero, a great older brother, kind to everyone, and so loyal. I told him how Justin met Liam and Chase in college, and they became really good friends and moved in together when they all landed in NYC.

I told him more about the drunk driving accident that killed him and about my downward spiral after he died- how I partied hard all the time during a six-month period following his death and got so low one night that I almost slept with one of the former defensemen. I told him that's my reason for only drinking one serving of alcohol when I go out, then switch to water- I don't want to spiral again into the darkness.

I told him everything about that time in my life, including how Liam and I tried to drown our sorrows with each other at that time. I think hearing that bit of information stung, but Tanner held his composure. I assured Tanner that Liam and I are just friends and haven't done anything like that since then. He's made comments before that prove he's capable of jealousy, but it's getting better. The more I reassure him and show him that I am his alone, he seems to relax more and more.

He takes everything in, and then he holds me, and all of the bad memories start to fade away. We just stay there wrapped up in one another until we're too tired to stay on the couch. When we move to the bed, we hold tight to one another until we fall asleep.

~

When we wake the following day, we make love, slowly sensually. In that moment, it's like time is suspended, and we have nothing else to worry about. We take our time exploring one another. We kiss slowly, deeply, and roll our hips together in harmony. I rise to meet him at every thrust. And he watches me with eyes full of love, desire, admiration, and amazement.

It's heaven when he lazily runs his hand down my body, memorizing every inch of me as I memorize every bit of him. We let our hands caress every exposed piece of flesh as we meet each other at the peak of our desires, then we fall back to earth together breathless and elated.

Each day we spend together, he gets closer and closer to claiming my heart. I'm starting to realize just how easy it is to love him.