twenty two

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LUKE

Ninety days.

It has been ninety days since I've spoken to Lissy and I've missed every second of it. It has been a literal representation of the song Half A Heart, but ten times worse.

I've been living in the UK for three months after my band '5 Seconds Of Summer' hit off. It has been amazing most nights playing at different venues in different parts of Briton, but I finally get to go home. You can only be away from the ones you love for so long, but for Alicia it has been too long.

I wish I could go see her but my parents would never allow it after being away for so long. Distance really sucks.

Michael, Calum an Ashton are excited to go home to seeing as Calum gained a girlfriend after being so successful, Abbie. She was sweet from what I've heard about her, like Calum doesn't ever not speak about her, its cute how in love her he is. She is really pretty, but not Alicia pretty, Abby had tanned skin with dark brown eyes and hair whereas Lissy was paler with blonde hair and bright blue eyes.

I felt so bad for not talking to Lissy for three months but I left the day after I got back for New York, and management took my phone off me and gave me a new one with all the contacts I needed, Lissy not included. I wanted to contact her somehow but I knew it was forbidden and I'd be seriously told off by our manager Steve, and he was extremely scary. I wish I could just hear her voice again and see her sweet smile, and just know she was alright. I was forever worried about her because of her depression, constantly having nightmares about bad things happening, once having one when I found out she killed herself causing Michael having to comfort me till I fell asleep again. I hope she hasn't done anything I could have prevented.

I have been in contact with my Mum, regularly. She told me I had a lot of post, probably from fans, but she said that they were all in a box for me.

The trip to the airport was exciting as I was one step closer to going home and being able to speak to Lissy. Calum was equally excited but his excitement was based on finally being able to have sex his girlfriend again, not just speak to her. Michael and Ashton on the other hand were just happy to be able to actually see sunlight and feel warmth again.

The anticipation was building up as we were walking through security bouncing from excitement. We all probably looked like idiots but we didn't care as we practically skipped towards the terminal we were taking off from. A lot of people are thrilled with the chance to go see England but after spending three months there we were by far ready to come home.

When I left for England my Dad was not happy with my career choice and said I should go for something like sport which I really good at instead of just taking a risk and try become a successful musician, since then he's changed his mind and is 'extremely proud of all I've achieved at such a young age' and is 'proud to call me his son', typically my Dad.

As we got onto the plane there was an argument over who sat where because none of us wanted to be sat next to Calum drivel on about Abbie. I luckily got to sit next to Ashton and planned on sleeping on his shoulder the whole time.

He although had other ideas and made me stay up half the time doing Sudokus and word searches, but he fell asleep so I cuddled up next to him and slept too.

Arriving in Sydney was one of the happiest moments of my life. I literally grabbed my bag and ran off the plane. I didn't expect there to be a crowd of teenage girls all screaming when I ran in, it was very scary to say the least. Luckily Michael came in soon after me muttering incoherent words about Calum which soon stopped after people were screaming for him. There were barriers but we were all so unused to everything we didn't know what to do. We were ushered through after quickly grabbing our bags towards a private exit where our parents were waiting apparently.

When I saw my Mum I ran towards her and engulfed her in massive hug. I saw my Dad behind and smiled at him, then looked around the other boys greeting their parents. I said hi then bye to everyone else, then jumped in the car so I could finally go home.

The whole journey my parents were asking me about the trip and telling me how much they missed me and are glad to see me. I wasn't really interested I just wanted to have my actual phone back. They told me that a couple of Australian radio companies want to interview us which is weird as that has never happened before. I asked about the family although I really didn't care I just wanted to speak to Lissy. I think my Mum knew how anxious was to get home after he asked if I had spoken to Lissy since I left which I obviously said no to, she looked shocked then sympathetic.

As soon I we got home I went straight up to my bedroom to retrieve my phone when I came across the letters my Mum told me about. There were twelve and they all looked like they came from the same place, when I checked the stamps they all did say the same place; New York. I checked the dates and started opening them in the right order.

Alicia.

Lissy.

I had tears streaming down my cheeks as I read each one about how she was getting worse and how she cut too deep, and having therapy. I couldn't take it, I'd left her for three month with no warning about no explanation, apart from hearing my band on radio. I felt like a part of me had died from just reading her letters. I grabbed my phone and turned it on, and when I did I saw I had a voicemail from her. I hesitated before listening to it. She was crying which made me cry even harder knowing I was reason for her tears. When she said that she loved me like the stars loved the night sky I whispered down the phone even though she couldn't hear "I love you like the sun loves the moon."

My Mum came in after hearing me crying and looked at me weirdly.

"Why are you crying?" She asked sympathetically.

"Alicia. All the letters are from Lissy and they are so upsetting. She's not okay, she's so sad and she thinks I left her. I had no choice. She probably hates me I can't do anything, why am I so selfish? I hate myself I want to talk to her, I want to actually see her, but I can't." I cried curling up into a ball.

"You need to get on the next plane to New York, Luke." My Mum replied.

"What?" I choked out, looking up.

"Well Lissy clearly needs you, you have the money, and you have a while off so you can see us later." She told me.

"I can go?" I asked bewildered she was saying I could go.

"Yes of course, she needs you Luke." She said before leaving.

I jumped up and grabbed suitcase, then ran to catch up with my Mum.

New York here I come.

AN: So this is Luke disappeared for three months....

There are only three chapters left until it's over (including the epilogue)

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