Mercury (And The Chaos In Their Life) Part 5

Chapter 15, Inflict

It was nighttime already, I stared off at the ceiling. I haven't been sleeping since the afternoon. Odd visuals appear in my eyes, an empty room, nothing was there except for me sitting here doing nothing. Outside it was cloudy but also sunny.

"Have you ever thought of everything around you isn't real?"

A red text appeared inside of my head as I snapped back, I stared back at Vix who was still sleeping. A feeling creeps on me, I was having one of those moments again where I go through a crisis. My brain went crazy, I touched and carefully pulled Vix's face. "It's real.." I whispered. I felt scared as I sat up and hugged my knees. I sat there thinking and thinking on what to do next, only to be blocked by horrific thoughts.

I scratched my wrist, I was stressing out horribly. I sobbed silently as I tried reaching for the knife under my bed. I pointed it at my stomach and hesitated, my thoughts raced through my mind I couldn't breathe correctly. I dropped the knife and it landed on the ground, "Man..I hate this." I whispered and hid the knife under the bed. I crawled into a ball, I could feel my dried tears as I moved my hair away from my cheek.

———

I wish that there was something to go back in time to make something not happen anymore
I could try my best to not experience That moment
I remember it clearly in my head
The day that broke me
I wish I could forget it, but it comes back over and over and over and over and over and over again.

over and over
I shut myself down when I remember it
I can't escape it, I can't forget it, it comes back
again and again
I remember when I was just a normal teen living in that apartment
Now I'm here, suffering mentally, unable to understand what's real, driven into insanity, and much more stuff I had to go through
suffering more and suffering again.

When I think of Vix and the others
I feel warmth and happiness

But do they all even like me still?
Do they all hate me?
Do they all want to hurt me?
Do they all want to kill me?

Those thoughts race through my head
I love all of them especially for Vix
but those thoughts and everything else I get are getting to me slowly

They are just thoughts stuck in my brain destroying me mentally every time
But it caused a lot of struggle, and I went through many regrets and pains.

I shouldn't give in so soon
I'm only so young living with people I care about
with a couple of monsters remain
I shouldn't give in so soon...

I should just
fight back
in a way where I mean it so much to the point that they're awfully scared
yeah

that's right...
fight back with the pain they inflicted on you
give them the pain
and watch them suffer and cry.

I opened my eyes, I went into a lot of deep thinking. I checked the time and it was 11PM. I remember what I was thinking. I laid down and tried falling asleep. I ended up feeling more and more tired. I fell asleep after.

I woke up immediately, of course I was in the same reality. Red, nothing else, "Cross or anyone else. I know you're there." I said while grinning. Abyss appears behind me, "Hmmm? You seem different." They took out their knife and pointed it at my cheek. They left a mark on my cheek, I felt a slight burning of acid on my cheek. "I expected for you to panic, how disappointing." Abyss said and walked away.