King of Dauntless

Chapter 28: The Arrangement

It felt like the world was closing in on me. I didn't really understand what was happening. It felt like I was panicking and I didnt know what to do.

I need air. Somewhere to breathe.

My feet just started leading me out of the room. I could hear the muffled yell of Max calling for me, but I just kept going. I slammed the door behind me and made my way down the flights of stairs in a blind rush. My mind was running with all kinds of questions and emotions.

Why?

Why him?

Why me?

I didn't know where I was going or what I was doing, but I kept running, until I came face to face with the large crowd of partiers. I quickly pushed my way through the crowd of drunk sweaty bodys as tears started streaming down my face. I was too panicked to really see where I was going that I tripped and stumbled into people; I could hear them yell at me in complaint, but I just kept moving. The more of a commotion I caused around me the less of a crowd I had to fight through. Through my blurred teary eyes I could see people now looking at me in concern trying to understand the situation in their drunken haze.

I ignored the crowd and kept pushing my way through until I got through and made my way further and further from the loud noise, away from the party, away from that nightmare. In my blind haze I didn't really see where I was going until I opened the big hanger door. The one place I had spent most of my time and was able to release all my emotions. The gym.

Without hesitation or a single thought I went straight for the punching bag. I went in for the first hit; I could feel every muscle in my body grown in protest. All the cuts and buries sting, but I just kept going, not even thinking about the strict instructions given to me by the Dr. I just wanted to feel that normal feeling not wanting to think about what my life will be. I let my frustration out until I couldn't anymore. My knuckles hurt and they were torn and bloodied. It felt like my body was worse than when I came out of the hospital, but that didn't stop me. My brain was still running and I didnt want to think I just wanted to forget about today. I started running just like I did in amity just to forget all my problems. I don't know how long I have been here but it felt like I was drowning; I couldn't breath every breath I inhaled came with a sharp pain stabbing my ribs. I thought I would be free. I thought I would fit in here, But marriage? To him? I thought I would only have to see him in passing after today, not spend the rest of my life with him.

The frustration set back in as tears started streaming down my face at a much faster rate until I was sobbing. I couldn't breath; every inhale was an attack to my lungs; it felt like there was no way to breath. I started to become light headed and saw black spots from the lack of oxygen making me panic and cry even harder. Why? I tried dragging in short little breaths, but it just sounded like I was hyperventilating. I grew dizzy on my feet and stumbled back into a wall; I slid down and tucked my knees into my chest trying to comfort myself.

I was too distraught to hear someone come closer to me let alone notice someone came in the room. As I laid my head on my knees I felt a callus hand softly take my bloodied one away from my face, but I never looked up. I didn't want anyone to see me like this. I felt a burning sensation on my hand making me pull away really fast. It hurt, everything hurt. I cried harder as the person tried to clean my hand again, but I kept flinching.

Next thing I knew I heard a big deep sigh as I felt them grab carefully and hugged me. It felt so foreign to have someone hug me; you think it would be natural being born amity, but I wasn't amity not really. I buried my head into their shoulder and cried. I don't know who this is, but I felt safe. I was in strong muscular arms that could crush me in an instant, but it didn't. They smelt of leather and gunpowder which I thought would put me on edge, but it didn't. I just leaned in more and let it all out. The pain, frustration, anger I just let it go.