Soulmate

Chapter 18

~Jai's point of view~

I hated this,the feeling of constantly being scared,I feel like I'm annoying everybody with my constant crying and moaning,I hate the fact that when I look at Luke I don't see my Handsome,funny boyfriend I see somebody who pity's me,I hate the fact that I've got to pretend that I don't love him in front of everybody,when I do I love him more than anything,I love his beautiful brown eyes and those luscious brown curls and the way he bites down in his lip ring or the way he just randomly comes out with the most strangest things that make my stomach ache with laughter,or just the way his whole body shakes when he laughs,I just miss the way things used to be when I used to have a genuine smile on my face,when I could walk into a room on my own without having a panic attack.

I hate what the monster I once called my dad has done to me and my family I hate how he is making me fake love for somebody other than Luke,I hate how he is making me cry myself to sleep reliving the things he did to me I hate him,I hate this,I hate myself.

I could hear Lilly downstairs talking to the boys,Lilly is my Beard she knows all this is fake and was nice enough to go along with it for me and Luke,she used to go to school with us and when we explained the situation she was more than happy to help out,it was easier pretending with her because I was comfortable around her and so far she was the only one who hadn't treated me different after finding out about the rape.

We had wrote on Twitter that me and Lilly were in a 'relationship' and 'Dad' had text and told me I was making a good decision so hopefully that will keep him away now,with all this happening I had decided I needed to try and move on from what had happened so I had put some skinny jeans on and a t shirt after having a shower and a shave making myself a little bit more presentable and a little bit more like the old me.

I made my way downstairs with for once s genuine smile on my face happy that this could be the start of going back to normal again.Joining the others in the living room I threw myself in the sofa in-between Lilly and Luke.

"You look better bud"Beau commented making me smile.

"Thank you,I feel better"i replied happily

All the boys smiled at me probably just as happy as I am that things were looking normal again,Lilly leant against me as I leant against Luke.

"I love you baby"he whispered in my ear for only me to hear.

"I love you too"i whispered back.

People can thing what they like and try and do everything in the power to stop us from being with each other but Luke's my twin,the boy I love and nobody and I mean nobody will ever take that away from us no matter how hard they try and i will always cuddle with him and whisper sweet nothings in his ear no matter what the situation is.