Danny Clark is a Nobody

Chapter Twenty

Danny's P.O.V

I had passed out in front of James and Sam, and now, I was sitting miserably at the breakfast table. It was 5:30-ish and Michael wasn't here yet. I took advantage of that and drank two cups of coffee, refilling my third.

I felt sick at the memories that clouded my mind. I had never imagined the truth to be so painful. At least now I realised that Michael had done nothing wrong. Of course, with the newfound information came a shitload of more questions. I was itching to ask Michael what had happened.

My rubbed my temples, feeling a headache pounding against my skull. I pulled at the sleeves of my blazer and shivered with the cold air. I sat, reading my book. Half an hour later, Michael approached me. I looked up. "Good morning." I croaked. I hadn't spoken in ages. "Morning. Are you okay? You look upset. Nightmare?" He asked me, frowning.

"You could say that." I mumbled. Michael filled a cup of coffee and sat across from me; our usual places. I winced involuntary when my headache evolved in level of pain. "Are you okay?" Michael asked again. "Yes. Sorry, I have a bit of a headache." I muttered.

"Hm... do you want some medicine?" Michael asked. I shook my head. "I took some Advil earlier." I said. Sam entered a bit later, making me tense. He was going to tell Michael. Sam sat glumly at the table, dark bags under his eyes and a sad expression on his face. "What's wrong?" Michael asked Sam. Sam shook his head, muttering "nothing."

Freddie walked in a few minutes later, talking excitedly on the phone. Once he sensed the uncomfortable tension in the room, he ended the call. "What's up with you two?" He asked Sam and I. We shook our heads simultaneously. "I'm fine." I said. "Yeah, so am I." Sam added. Freddie eyed us suspiciously but didn't say anything. "What's for breakfast?" He asked. "I don't know, make yourself something." Just then, James walked in, looking also as sad as Sam.

"Seriously, what the actual fuck happened last night with you three?" Freddie said exasperatedly. "I'm fine." James said. He sat down next to Sam and yawned. "No morning run?" Michael asked him with a raised eyebrow. "No." James replied dryly.

"Okay. Enough of this. One of you tell me what happened." Michael said. "Why should I?" Sam snorted coldly, "it's not like any of you bothered to include me in things." Michael sighed. "Is this about what happened to your mom?" He asked. "No shit, Sherlock." Sam replied.

"Okay, enough. You're allowed to be upset but I draw the line when you start to disrespect me." Michael said sternly. "Sorry," Sam muttered guiltily. Michael turned to James. "Tell me what happened." He said. James hesitated. "Why won't you just tell me what-" Michael began frustratedly.

"I had a panic attack." I interrupted, standing up. "Okay? I had a panic attack again. This time, it was about what happened 10 years ago. When I was put in foster care. You know, I always kind of resented you for it. I blamed you. And you- you just let me. You didn't tell me what happened; why I was fucking abandoned while you all lived your lives of luxury, why you found me and took me back a decade later. I was raised by cruel people while you all had a family who loved you.

You expect me to be okay with that? You think you could just take me back and what? All is forgiven and forgotten? I can't forget, dad! I can't forget all those years of suffering. Everyday, I asked myself what I had done to deserve that shit. Did I deserve it? Is that why you took so long to find me? You wanted me to suffer? Did I mean so little to you? I-I know it isn't fair. It wasn't your fault. But I had no one. For years, I-I had no one. I was a child. I was a child and I was alone. You can't blame me for not trusting you.

You all have memories together. Memories I will never be a part of. Because, in truth, I'm just a- a- an intruder, am I not? I'm just some guy you all used to know as a baby. But I'm- I'm not him anymore. I'm not that innocent child. I'm not that innocent, protected, loved child. So- so just stop holding onto him because he doesn't exist anymore! I'm nobody! Do you understand me? I'm Danny fucking Clark, and I'm nobody." I exploded verbally.