Hostage of Your Heart - A Larry Stylinson AU

Chapter 18 - First Thought

Hello all. Sorry I'm a day late. As always, I hope you all are well and I appreciate you reading the story. Enjoy xx.

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After Harry's panic attack, he was under constant surveillance by the Saint Bernard's doctors and psychiatrists. They could not get anything out of him regarding what happened but after speaking with Louis, they deduced that something the feathery-haired boy said had triggered emotional trauma inside of Harry.

Hit the nail right on the head.

He could not have any visitors for a week and a half following his panic attack but when he could, the first person who he granted permission to visit him was Louis. He was not sure why he kept going back to the boy, but he felt like he still needed to say something to him. There was so much left unsaid but Harry, for the life of him, could not figure out what that was.

Not that I could say it even if I did figure it out.

Dr. Malik remained his psychiatrist and tried to help him come out of his own mind every day. He refused to speak when prompted though and would only write when it was to Louis and would promptly destroy the messages after the boy left to return to his room.

Harry now had a calendar in his room. It was November 23, 2013. A Sunday.

The door opened. He knew it was Louis. He had buzzed for him and Louis was the only visitor other than his mother who he allowed in his room, but she had not been to see him in quite some time.

She was in pain, the doctors said.

She's not the only one.

"Hi Haz," whispered Louis, sitting down in his regular spot on the edge of the bed. Harry shifted to give him ample room. "How are you feeling today?"

The same.

"I have something I need to tell you," said Louis softly. He waited for some indication that Harry had heard him and he continued once he received a nod. "I'm going to turn myself in."

Harry's eyes widened in alarm and he shook his head, watching as his hand gripped his sheets tightly. He felt hot tears burn his eyes.

Louis was leaving too.

"I have to Haz, I can't live with myself knowing that I'm not paying for all of the pain I've caused you," choked out Louis. "All of this... all of this is my fault. You should have been leading a happy and healthy life. Instead, I'm the reason you're having panic attacks and are hurting."

Please don't leave me.

"There's nothing I want to do less than leave you, Hazza," whispered Louis, trying to wipe his eyes discreetly. Harry did not have to look at him to realize what he was doing though. "But I have to own up to what I did."

They won't believe you. They think you've lost it too.

"That's where I need your help." Realization struck Harry.

No, I won't do it. Why would they believe me anyway? I'm a nutcase.

"You're no such thing, Haz. You're wonderful."

I can't.

"You can," Louis insisted. "You won't heal otherwise, Haz. I'm no help to you, not really. I'm dangerous and my temper's no better now than it was when I made you leave. I need help."

You'll get that help here, not in prison. You don't belong there.

"I don't belong anywhere that I can potentially hurt you. Prison is the one place where I can't hurt you."