Chapter 24- Nearly back

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Stefan's pov:
Emma had always been a night-owl, dancing, drinking and visiting raves until way into the morning. Sometimes I'd even go with her. But that was before we came to Beacon Hills... that was before the miscarriage. That was before everything changed.

Currently it was 7pm and we were still in the car driving up to California from the bottom of Mexico. My fiancé was curled up (asleep) in the passenger seat, one of my spare jumpers wrapped around her torso. I notice a small amount of blood on her seat, so I decided to pull up to a gas station. Just to take a quick break, as we'd already spent 16 hours in the car and still had another couple left. I gently stroked Em's shoulder to wake her, she let out a couple of small groans before opening her eyes, "Hey baby, we're at a gas station. So that we can have a break. I'll just fill the car up then help you out." I smiled at her as she took in her new environment. I filled the car up with gas and made around to her side of the car, opening the door and lifting her out.

She still looked tired, even after sleeping 12 hours in the car. Her hair was still surprisingly neat, but a new blood stain showed through her trousers and the seat. She noticed this as I lifted her out of the car- she looked almost ashamed of herself. I sighed, "Em, it's ok. Let's get you cleaned up."
"I'm sorry." She mumbled weakly into my chest, as I wrapped my hoodie around her waist.
"It's not your fault, come on." I held out my hand which she gratefully took, as we made our way into the shop.

As we entered, a small bell rung. Emma's senses have clearly been heightened after the miscarriage, as she flinched hearing it. I held her into my chest as we went to pick out some drinks. I picked up a plain bottle of water, whereas she got a kiwi and strawberry flavoured water. As she picked it up she nearly fell over, as from being so weak. I caught her and sat her gently on the floor, "Baby, I'm just going to buy some stuff then I'll come back in a second. Is that ok?" She nodded weakly. I kissed her head as her eyes tried to force themselves shut.

I walked down the pharmacy isle and picked up some sanitary pads, painkillers and a heated pad for Em. The doctor said that if she did move around too much or get stressed, etc that she might start bleeding. She always stated that it wouldn't be her period. Only access blood from the 'baby'. I never told her the last sentence as I knew she was still extremely sensitive about the entire situation- as was I.
Everything started getting harder after Klaus left, Emma wouldn't eat full meals and would only pick at things when she did eat. To me it almost felt like food was a burden to eat for her and that she was just physically and mentally tired, even if she was a hybrid.

The last item I picked up were a box of cookie dough pop tarts, as I knew those were one of her safe foods that I knew she would eat. After paying from the items, I went back to her, picked her up again and took her into the toilet.
"I've got you some stuff in the bag, I'll be outside if you need anything." I kissed her head again and waited outside the door. I listened to her steady heartbeat as I heard her thank me for the stuff.

After she had gotten changed, we entered the car again and Em went straight back to sleep. I was about to start the car again, when I got an incoming call from Scott.
"Hello?" I spoke quietly.
"How is she?" He asked straight away.
"She's alright, she's sleeping right now. We just stopped at the gas station we're heading back to the road now." I said.
"Good, how long do you reckon you'll be before you're back in Beacon Hills?" He questioned.
"I think about 2 or 3. I'll phone you when we're back at our apartment." I said, driving the car onto the road.
"Ok, I'll meet you there." He hung up.

I sighed, this was going to be a long couple of hours. Em was still sleeping 1 hour into the drive, her position looked really uncomfortable- but as long as she felt comfortable then it was alright. I love her and only want the best for her. I'm not going to lie, the miscarriage was hard on everyone. Especially me and her. I cried sometimes, I mean, who wouldn't in that situation. I'd sit on the shower tiles and cry sometimes, with the burning hot water running down my back (but not loud enough for Emma to hear me) I knew if she found out she'd blame herself.

We were nearly in California when I decided to call Klaus and give him a quick update.
The phone rung for about a millisecond before he answered it. "Stefan." He greeted.
"Hi Klaus," I said, "Are you planning to come back to Beacon Hills?"
He paused for a bit before answering, "Yeah, I might. Depends if Elijah and Hayley need me."

I heard Emma shuffling around in her seat, so I turned to face her. "You ok?" I mouthed then turned my head back to the road so I wouldn't crash.
I heard an almost inaudible 'yes', but she sat up and took my phone from my hands.
"May I?" She asked, politely.
I nodded- she began talking to Klaus in a whispered tone, that even I couldn't hear. But I knew whatever secrets they were talking about now, would eventually make their way to me. (What I mean by that is that they'd tell me sooner or later).

After she finished the phone call, she faced me with her knees up against her chest and her shoes off. "Are you ok?" She asked, nervously.
I hummed in response, "we're nearly back now."
"I don't believe you Stef.." she sighed, she knew me like the back of my hand. She could tell if I was lying or hiding the truth from her or otherwise.
"Honestly baby, I'm fine. Really." She was my top priority at the moment, I could let anything get in the way of that.
"Sure." She muttered, leaning her head against the car window and looking at the fast-moving beige-ish environment outside.
I took one of her hands in one of mine, and I gripped it tightly- using the other hand to drive.
But there is something on her mind, something else. Something she's not telling me.

Emma's pov:
I had been worried about Stefan recently, he hadn't been himself. I think he'd been worried about me more than himself- but honestly... so had I. I was scared of myself and what I could possibly do to myself. A night or so after the 'incident', I locked myself in the bathroom at out our apartment and had a breakdown. I did something stupid, it was in the heat of the moment. And I grabbed a razor from the cupboard and began cutting down my arms and thighs with it. I couldn't stop- it was almost addictive. It wasn't until Stefan knocked the door down, when I remembered where I was and that I was safe.
But the worst part was, I didn't regret it.

I had been clean from it (as well as booze) since I was 16, but suddenly one tragic event happens and my world seems to come crashing down on me... I hated seeing Stefan's face when he came in, it was laced in horror and worry. But things other than just that had happened recently- but I don't think that's all Stefan has been worried about. There's something else. Something he's not telling me.

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